Wednesday, January 31, 2007


PEORIA, ILLINOIS--Mr. Haney wasn't there to sell him some spare-parts from China, but Vice President Bush was in Illinois yesterday touting how great the economy is (for a few), the need for more free trade agreements (that undermine American jobs and wages--pass), and then proceeded to drive a Caterpillar tractor around a field of his own rhetoric:

The president was mostly preaching to the converted. Caterpillar was carefully chosen by the White House to put Bush's policies in the best possible light. The company's exports to Chile and Australia have shot up following free trade agreements negotiated by the Bush administration. And China, which negotiated a trade deal with President Bill Clinton, is now Caterpillar's fifth- largest export market. (IHT, 01.31.2007)

A few of the press were gored, one having his head crushed, his brains spilling-out in classic Peckinpah-fashion (slow-motion). Seeing blood, the President leaped from the tractor beating his chest, and began lapping-up the blood. "Mmmm-good!", he exclaimed in an archetypal Andy Griffith move that even the late Don Knotts could feel it. Businessweek reported this observation from Illinois:

"Mike Lawrence, director of the Paul Simon Public Policy Institute at Southern Illinois University, wondered whether Bush might be trying to duck debate over the Iraq war by plugging his economic programs." (Businessweek, 01.30.2007)

But nobody cared that members of the press were killed, and it was agreed that they made better fertilizer in-death than in-life. At long-last, they were useful to society. Funny, very-few stories covered the tractor incident in any detail. Curious. I guess he's mad at the press, though he really shouldn't, he has them, even now. Journalism: best to get a job at Caterpillar.

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International Herald Times:

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