ADVENTURES IN WRITING! Operating from Northern Indiana, this blog will cover aspects of culture with a bent on humor and the relentless belittling of the mainstream media, politics, and the syphilitic GOP (both major parties). News analysis happens. Put on your adult diapers, this gwine'-a'-be a bourgeois hoot. Some much needed hilarity for working class North Americans and international readers. I'm the part of this human world that bites back. Let's roll.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls review
"Come varlet [meaning "someone who waits on or tends to or attends to the needs of another", or an "evil person"] drink the black-sperm of my vengeance!"--from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
You've probably read that Roger Ebert wrote the screenplay for this atrocity--it's true. For every film the fat-guy has panned (Brown Bunny)--and even wanted banned--this negates his opinon every-single-time. It is so completely wrongheaded and retarded, that it's almost as annoying as Plan 9 From Outerspace...almost. It's true, the film has been hailed by the likes of John Waters, who is a BIG fan of the late Russ Meyer, but since-when is he always-right? You have to take his praises with-a-grain-of-salt, he likes this kind of movie because it`s really a disaster that the makers thought was great at-the-time. Yep, it's "camp" because it sucks so-badly that it's unintentionally-hilarious. The key-word is "unintentionally". Anyone with a half-baked idea could make a movie in 1969-1970, because the old studio-system was dying. The aging cigar-chompers had no-idea what to release anymore. Nada.
With a dying-industry (sound-familiar?), the rise-of-porn and the counterculture--shute, they were up-for-anything in tinseltown. Anything. This is why such a turd as this got-made. Roger Ebert had been already writing-for the Chicago Sun-Times since 1967, but the opportunities were obvious out there in Hollywood. You could almost fall off a truck and get a picture-deal. It has to be understood that at this time porno was beginning to really take-off, even before Deep Throat became a hit. There was a shining-moment when porn nearly became mainstream theatrical- fare. The studios knew who Russ Meyer was from his work in the independent-gutters, so why not risk a feature-film with him?Ebert has had some interesting-things to say about BTVOTD over-the-years, as in this 10th anniversary interview:
"Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" seems more and more like a movie that got made by accident when the lunatics took over the asylum. At the time Russ Meyer and I were working on "BVD" I didn`t really understand how unusual the project was. But in hindsight I can recognize that the conditions of its making were almost miraculous...The movie's story was made up as we went along, which makes subsequent analysis a little tricky.
You-bet, Roger, but I'll try. Perhaps my head will explode like in Scanners, though. While Ebert co-wrote the screenplay, it's obvious this is a Russ Meyer vehicle. It's a really cheesey-story about a girl-group called the "Carrie Nations", which is ironic since she was one of the key-players in getting the Prohibition of alcohol instated as a Constitutional-amendment. Not very party-friendly, really, but that's the wrongheaded-part of the movie. Meyer was just another cigar-chomper, just a small-fry indie one.
You see, the story is basically a very-dumb soap-opera surrounding the big-titted girls, and a hangout that is run by the band's manager/producer, "Z-man". In the Russ Meyer universe, it seems gay-men all speak like Shakespearian-actors (aka "iambic-pentameter"). Yup, Z-Man is a ridiculous-caricature of none-other than Phil Spector (he's in the prologue of Easy Rider as a speed-dealer), a guy also known for producing megahits by girl-groups. Spector is also-known for shooting women with big-tits in-the-face, but that's another-story. Anyway, things get out-of-control fast: everyone is fucking everyone-else's boyfriend/girlfriend/hermaphrodite, and jealousy and drug-fueled violence erupts ala the Manson Family--Z-man chops-off the head of a guy he wanted to fuck, but who spurned-him. He states the quote before this article.
BUT WAIT, there's a MORAL to the movie too: Meyer wants us to get-off on the decadence, but has a sad-ending with a dopey-voiceover about the "evils of the counterculture", which was common at that time. He both slams, and panders-to the counterculture at-once. OK, maybe the studios made him do this, I don't know, but the movie is basically-inept, realistically. It DOES look-good, but the music is dumb--like the Archies were--and the acting is very-very wooden. The dialogue is horrible, something an autistic-child could do-better. YET, it is entertaining for all these reasons. Sure, the drug-freakouts are creepy, and Z-man's freakout is, well, freaky. Fuck-it, watch this movie, it's a great-laugh, and if you like boobs as much as I do, you'll love it.
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