Saturday, June 28, 2008

Sens. Larry Craig & David Vitter team-up to...protect the heterosexual marriage

Washington D.C.--Alright, this must be what's keeping them all so very busy in Congress, and making it so difficult to move towards impeachment investigations and hearings...uh, and that ever-present lack of will because they're complicit in Bush administration/GOP crimes.

But hey: never mind all that, this bill has been reintroduced since 2000 without any real support, and forget about $4.00-$5.00-a-gallon-gas--we needs to be protectin' them-thar' heterosexual marriages, and these fellers should know (better--they do). Clearly, this is the most important (impotent?) thing these two could erect at one of the most momentous periods in American history.

PageOneQ--a gay publication and website--has noted that Craig and Vitter are working hard at...what, I have no idea of, but it sounds like more pre-2006 midterm rhetoric about "protecting heterosensual marriage" from itself. Read the statistics on marriage in America. They aren't pretty, and neither are you. This is interesting, since most legislation begins in the House, but who cares:
Two United States Senators implicated in extramarital sexual activity have named themselves as co-sponsors of S. J. RES. 43, dubbed the Marriage Protection Amendment. If ratified, the bill would amend the United States Constitution to state that marriage "shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman." ("Sens. Larry Craig and David Vitter co-sponsor Marriage Protection Amendment," PageOneQ, 06.27.2008)
If only Mark Foley were still in Congress, it might bring tears to his eyes (maybe it has anyway, which is good). Perhaps a talk with Montgomery Blair Sibley is in order for these guys, but it's unlikely anytime soon, especially for Senator David Vitter...or is it? Stay tuned.

In case you don't know, it's been objectively confirmed through his presence in phone records that Senator Vitter had sexual-intercourse several times with prostitutes who worked for the late Deborah Jeane Palfrey's Pamela Martin & Associates escort service in 1999. Palfrey was convicted before sentencing of money laundering and racketeering, which sounds more like a Republican than a madam. Does Vitter like them with big tits? I know I do, c'mon. Get real, who doesn't? Even gay men find them interesting, but that's for another time.

But the GOP's Vitter couldn't keep IT in his pants--and who in the GOP's hierarchy can? After promising under oath to his former prosecutor wife that he would keep it in his pants around the same time that Bill Clinton was denying he'd sinned, Senator Vitter sinned it like a beast, again-and-again-and-again, then continued to deny it. Got all that? The Louisiana senator was also caught soliciting prostitution on FBI surveillance tapes in 2001 when they were wiretapping the brothel of the "Canal Street Madam" in New Orleans.

Rumors have circulated for over a decade in Louisiana that Vitter's a sex-addicted whore-monger. Since July of last year, it's been an established fact, though one wouldn't know it from reading the American press. Craig's problems began a few weeks before that in June of 2007. Now, just a year later, we have them introducing this legislation to protect marriage. But they needed more physical coverage for their smokescreen. Safety comes in numbers, and a Roman phalanx of six other senators backing this questionable bill doesn't hurt, I hear tell. Will it go anywhere? Of course not...

Remember that at the time Vitter was chasing poontang, the
9/11 hijackers were in states like Florida, taking flight lessons and getting things in order for their attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the White House. Hearings in 2002 revealed the FBI's surveillance operation in the big N.O., and then came the subsequent confirmations in the summer of 2007 that Vitter had solicited prostitutes through Palfrey's agency.

Yet Vitter wouldn't meet the same fate as the former governor of New York,
Eliot Spitzer, and that's because he wasn't a Republican incumbent. It also didn't help that he had prosecuted dirty lenders on Wall Street with ties to the GOP as attorney general for the State of New York. All hail the oligarchic patriarchy--but what about Senator Vitter and his closeted GOP brethren with intense sexual (c)ravings?

Controlling the Justice Department helps here, in this, our American banana republic. It's all about cherry-picking, folks, so just keep your eyes on the middle-shell and win big. And don't forget to peruse our snake oil concession, it's a cure-all. Now: is there no one who will save the widow's son (from himself)?!

PageOneQ on the Craig/Vitter Sperm Cult of the Eight, 06.27.2008:

Govtrack's page showing the historical lack of support for the bill, 06.25.2008:

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