Monday, December 31, 2012

the fiscal cliff

The shit was never real, it was political Kabuki theater. Suck it.

2012 was the year...

This was quite a year for me, perhaps a watershed in some ways, but one that will at least allow me to truly move forward in my life and to be a free of the terrible stress expediting the completion of a historical account. There are no rules for that, and only a few guidelines. In the end, you're the only one who knows what you experienced, and even then, that's not always a given. You know what you were told. You know what information was conveyed to you. You know what you experienced during these interactions, but they're fragmented, obscured, and questionable in one way, completely credible in others. That's navigating a labyrinth. 

This wasn't just 2012 for me, it was the last five years of my life. What was real? I discovered many things that were, many more that were not, and more than all that combined that remains a mystery to myself and others. The terrible part is to then extricate yourself from the narrative continuum to continue on with your own life. There are apparently some out there who don't want this to happen, but I have news for them. It is going to happen.

I'll promote the book, and I'm open to interviews, all that's fine. However, I won't be dragged into other people's agendas, and there have already been attempts to do this, right out of the gate of the release of Let the Dead Bury the Dead. When else would it occur? There will be more. Interestingly, the phony cease and desists have halted, a form of harassment that I've experienced from the beginning of my involvement with Jeane's case to the present, several months ago, then once more just weeks ago. The fact that they've now become silent in their legal harassment from the shadows tells me what I always assumed: it was all predicated on scaring me out of publication. That was never going to work in a nation where prior restraint has been ruled unconstitutional so many times that it's solid precedent. A first year law student would know this, and so too would many millions outside of legal profession. Were I to discover their identity, I could sue them in a civil court, and maybe even hit them with criminal charges of harassment--that is, if it's not the government, then the funhouse rules come into play.

Is this a story many don't want to be told, Jeane's story, the information that I and others came into possession of? It was uncanny how often the information was coming to me, not the reverse. There were many times that Jeane would mistakenly send me entire email-chains between herself and counsel and others, and doing so when I wasn't even part of the defense as a researcher. Was she trying to let me bear witness? Sometimes, she was, unquestionably, but I don't think the chains always were. When she Cc'd her exchanges with journalist Jason Leopold, whom I bear no ill will mind you, she was most definitely doing this. There were other occasions, sometimes to bounce my opinion off of things counsel was conveying to her. What did I think of this crafted motion? Did I trust counsel? Did I know more about their and numerous other players' backgrounds, sometimes collective, interconnected ones? The answers were always varied. Sometimes I was able to find out, many other times, she was simply asking the impossible out of desperation. This all had to be written down and chronicled before it gradually vanished from my memory, and the memory of others, because so much is lost to history when this kind of action isn't taken immediately. It escapes into the Aether, subsumed by darkness, assimilated into the Abyss. You can bet that a lot more is sitting on a hard drive at some "fusion center" in the continental United States. An FOIA isn't going to free it up anytime soon.

I'll continue to answer questions to the best of my ability on the subject, because I think it was a far more important case than most of us realized at the time. It took a great deal of after-the-fact research on my part, a lot of reflection on what happened when Jeane was alive, what my role, my place, in it all really was, and to question, question question, and that includes myself, my assumptions. It turned out that many of my earliest ones were either correct, or that I was on the right trail.

The public has a right to know what's being done in their name and how their taxes are being spent. This is why my account is important. Besides being a historical chronicle for the historical record, it can be a starting-point for further inquiry. Because of the information I came across, I'm not naive enough to believe that this is going to happen. Our political system is in what I consider terminal crisis that's borne out of the natural lifecycles of democratic societies. They have a shelf-life, and we're around the time of the expiration date. 

The cycle, as one would imagine, is a circle. I recommend looking at the democratic and republican experiments in ancient Greece and Rome. Western societies appear to begin with warrior king leadership that grows into some general form of feudalism, then to forms of republicanism where it's primarily based around land ownership, often headed by a senate, some parliamentary structure, and on into wider forms of democratic franchise, popular democracy of some sort. Unfortunately, and the ancients saw this firsthand, democracy is also the most fertile soil and prerequisite for tyranny, either by the masses or a dictatorship. Because the general population is usually uneducated, ignorant, stubborn--holding all the human frailties related to pride--there's a tendency towards an overemphasis on the military. Appetites, often arising out of inequality, must be fed in order to rule, and so, it's not simply leadership that demands empire, it's the people, the working-class wage slaves, the populi, the plebes. Military adventurism becomes a virtual inevitability. 

Because of the social reality of a minimum degree of democratic rights, the franchise, the vote, a say in how things are done, we must have bread and circuses, the mob must be placated and diverted away from a real voice in the operation of society ruled by some form of aristocracy. More often, people want to be told what to do thinking that it's easier, and too often, they want a strongman leader to show them the way. Sadly, I see us at the end of this cycle and heading towards dictatorship. The American public will hold just as much of the blame as the current rulers when things disintegrate into this. Can something better arise out of this? Eventually, if we can survive. The Greeks are still waiting for democracy, so there's a good idea of how long it might take.

Do I see much change in our course in the United States, to avert what no other democratic society was able to endure, besides maybe the Swiss? No, I'm afraid not. We're going to continue our military adventurism, until there's no more money left in the Treasury--what happened to Athenian democracy--or someone creams our ass, more likely a combination of both, which has many precedents. Democracies die of neglect. When the 17th and 18th century liberal thinkers spoke of revolution, it was as a warning, not a threat, that there must be reform or that things will collapse into chaos and violence. This is what the social contract is about. We either work together, looking out for each others' well-being, or we will surely die together. Apathy and indifference towards others is a ticking bomb, and it's why I have a serious problem with American Libertarianism, a subject barely worthy of comment for its obvious irrationality. Thinkers such as John Locke were saying that breakdowns of order happen when a society becomes so dysfunctional from misrule, and the missing-ingredient is the public, that people begin killing each other. But the public too often is unaware of their power. They're apathetic, divided over petty squabbling, generation after generation, making the exact same mistakes. Worse still, the public is very often wrong like their rulers. Now, you, the thoughtful reader, will know why my book is only going to reach so many people. The truth hurts. And now on to other related things that happened in my life this year...

2012 was the year that I:

...finished and published the manuscript of my experiences in the DC Madam case (and beyond it, stories never end, or ever die). Let the Dead Bury the Dead can be traced back to an exchange in the New Testament between Jesus and a disciple who said that he needed to bury a loved one before he could go with them on the road. I was unaware of this at the time I decided on the title. It has become an idiomatic phrase throughout the world over the centuries, and there is no agreement on what Jesus meant by it. Some say he meant to let the spiritually dead bury the physically dead in a dead, fallen world. Others say that it means to move on from the past, to not dwell on it, to not live in the past. I don't claim to know what he meant or originally said, but I think all the meanings relate to me and the book. This is when you begin to realize that you've hit on some very fundamental truths, and not merely artistic truth, but truth itself. So much of this has been serendipity to the point that it cancels itself out, it is no longer coincidence, but the truth, however terrible, liberating, or great. I can only feel humbled by it all.

...was asked to research the Wikileaks StratFor emails cache, along with many others of course. This didn't come to be, unfortunately, over technicalities I'll go into one day. To be asked was very exciting. My opinion of Assange is yet to be finalized. On an interpersonal level, I'm sure he can be a pushy asshole. On the other hand, it's probably worth it to kick people who aren't serious to the curb, which he has done on numerous occasions. The amount of information coming out of governments around the world? I can tolerate a lot there. The people Wikileaks is working against are the worst in the entire world.

...began watching the great works of cinema as much as I'd been wanting to for a very long time, and when I purchased a Blu-ray player when my old DVD-player croaked. Watching a cinematic classic in HD is maybe one of the few great technological achievements of the current era. If it serves the dissemination of the arts, information of value, in a better way, I'm all for it. There is nothing more important than cultural expression when it's the truth.

...noticed that for some reason I'm aging well. This is probably because I rarely drink and smoke and get regular exercise. Why stress didn't contribute more might have to do with the fact that my family has naturally low blood pressure. The other good side is that the more I grow older, the great my resemblance to Oscar Wilde, and that's not a jest.

...realized how wonderful my mother's parents really were, and how their home is truly my home. America is my home, I cannot leave her. As fucked up as she is, I still love her, or I wouldn't be trying to save her from herself. At some point, it doesn't matter what the odds are. You must act out of decency and honor, armed with knowledge and a sense of persistence and the long view.

...found that many of my fellow Americans are a pathetic embarrassment that far exceeded my worst opinions of them. This includes many Democratic voters and supporters who refuse to criticize the president for committing war crimes and wrecking the Constitution, all but gutting the 4th Amendment, the right to privacy. He has yet to restore habeas corpus. We are not facing the threat to public safety and order that President Lincoln had to when Southern politicians and officers committed treason over his election in 1861. Why doesn't anyone become alarmed by this? Congress just re-authorized the NSA's warrantless wiretapping program for another five years. See how well they can all get along when they want to? What the hell's wrong with the public, where's the outrage over these encroachments on our rights? Much of it is ignorance, but it's also the desire for a strongman leader who has "taken-off the gloves," who is no longer restrained by the law. These people are the worst kind of citizens of any society, in any era of human history, and are scoundrels. Many American look at politics like it's a football game. This makes these people incredibly stupid assholes.

...realized how much I value living outside of cities in what could be best described as a "light rural" area. I've been here for over a decade now and love the lack of many people.

...realized what a genius Pier Paolo Pasolini truly was, one of the greatest artists in the span of Western civilization.

...installed my Tor browser (thanks Wikileaks). I suggest everyone do the same and to learn more about encrypting your online communications. to know my wonderful niece Zofia better. Picking her up from the bus stop every day for the first five months of the year is something that I'll always treasure. It showed me a little window into how my late grandparents, especially my mother's mother, loved spending time doting over us. She's a great kid, very intelligent.

...learned that blood not only isn't thicker than water, but that it's often the consistency of liquid-shit.

...remembered why I hated school, church services, and anything so boring that it begins to kill your soul: it's someone controlling your life, and wasting your precious time.

...recalled what an inhuman asshole my ex-wife really was in-sum.

...learned how much I love our new miniature schnauzer, Lily.

...found a lot of old books I thought I'd lost.

...stopped trusting almost anyone outside of my family and a small circle of friends.

...felt vindicated when former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky was found guilty on over forty counts of being a pedophile. For anyone who's been a victim of this, you know what I mean. I'm hoping the SOB gets shanked in prison, or beaten to death. There's no reason to show mercy to these terminally-pathological pieces of shit. They should be watched and tracked all of the time once they've been identified by society.

...saw the combined effects of de-institutionalization of the mentally ill and the wide-availability of heavy weaponry on the lives of 20 schoolchildren, and six of their adult caretakers, in Newtown Connecticut. The time to reopen our state mental health institutions is now. We have no real mental healthcare system, and it must be part of a socialized medical infrastructure. 

...still hate the idea of ever going back to Seattle for any reason.

...was reminded that most so-called "upstanding citizens" are more criminally-minded than so-called "criminals." To be accused is not to be guilty. We have something called the right to due process. The public and the press seem to have no concept of this. Put the 6th Amendment on the same critical-list as the 4th, and more recently, the 1st with the attacks on dissent and independent journalism.

And there was more. There was a lot more. Wish us all luck in the next year, because we're going to need it.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

an open letter to former pamela martin & associates escorts

Ladies, if I may be so forward, or so foolish, to address you as such:

You turned your back on Jeane. Maybe she wasn't the nicest human being to work for, but she was a human being, and you either knew or should have known what you were getting yourselves into. The fact that somewhere in the range of fifteen of you turned snitch to save your skins was despicable in light of how well you were paid. Admittedly, I only know so much about how you were treated, yet none of you were willing to come forward to educate me and others on any of the details but one, the woman who courageously attempted to establish contact with Ken Silverstein when he was an editor at Harper's. That woman was a hero and she has my deepest regards and respect.

As for the rest of you, the others that went into hiding, believe it or not, I get it. That being said, it doesn't excuse your kicking the late Ms. Palfrey to the curb. Many of you had moved on after more than a few years, and that's a good out, it's fair. Nonetheless, a number of you, the ones who testified against her, are scoundrels. You own a piece of her death, you are rats, scum, filth, indirect killers. I despise you. 

You see, what a number of you did helped bring PMA to its knees and Jeane to hang at the end of a rope. You are Judases. Not a lot of you were in any specific need to become escorts--there was little desperation involved in it, more a desire for a soft, materialistic life that you felt entitled to. That doesn't make you much different from the rest of the entitled whores that overpopulate this country, but it makes you lower than a streetwalker who's run out of options and finds themselves in the profession. Yes, I don't want to see the government and some of the elements you serviced victimizing you further, there's no point to that, and there's been enough suffering in all of this. But the fact remains that some of you, some of the over one hundred and thirty escorts that worked for PMA over the years, are going to have to live with what you did.

I was fair to you in my book, maybe too fair. But don't expect that I was letting you all off-the-hook completely, because I didn't. For the dozen-plus of you who turned informant, you have no sense of honor. It pleases me that this will cause you a certain degree of pain for the rest of your natural lives. A woman died, as you know, as we all know, and there's no going back from what happened. My hope is that some of you learned something from this and changed, but I'm not an optimist about people and their ways. My assumption is that this will haunt some of you psychologically in some way, yet it won't result in any real shift or transformation in who and what you are, selfish pigs, and that you're going to continue on your merry, indifferent ways just as before. How lovely for you.

Some idiot claiming to be one of you, Andrea Detty, made a limp attempt at undermining the book by suggesting that I hadn't contacted you, therefore, how solid could my attempt to chronicle what happened. That wasn't my job. My job was to tell what I experienced and learned, my part of the puzzle and to try to make as much sense of that as I could. That included obtaining more information. A lot of this was so that I was able to move on from my role in the last year of Jeane's very short life. That kind of an attempt is the act of a scoundrel, a liar, and a psychopath, exactly what I'd expect out of a genuine informant. There's nothing lower than that. Who is this magical person or persons that was able to speak extensively with the former escorts? If they exist outside of a government job, they're sitting on it, and at this point, now that a lot of the smoke has cleared, their behavior is incredibly unethical. I put out requests long ago on this blog for information from you women with no results whatsoever. The onus is on you. It wasn't even a nice try, "Andrea."

You women are the past, and what's past is prologue. I you want to clarify things, great, then do it, otherwise, shut the fuck up, forever, you have no legs to stand on, no credibility.

I could go on endlessly about you, but let me sum it all up: life is short, and the truth will one day come to light. One day we'll know precisely who the worst were, who were the heroes, who at least tried under terrible circumstances to do what was right at the time, and really, who the fucking animals were. Jeane is dead, and I am one of the caretakers of her legacy, one of the few who can bring her voice back from the grave, one of the only people in the world who can at least begin the process of allowing her to point her dead hand at the guilty. There never be a place to run. There is no place to hide from a sun that never sets. Dwell on that for the holidays.

Matt Janovic

Friday, December 21, 2012

dc madam trial transcripts

Ed.--These files are not complete, although they're complete within themselves. There is no voir dire. I also believe the evidence was poorly documented, but it wasn't necessary to the documents. Insofar as I know, this will be the first time anyone, anywhere online has uploaded these for public consumption. Read 'em and weep, I did. The trial was a farce, hence why the transcripts aren't readily available, in my opinion. I don't give a shit who has a problem with it. The bottom document is related and covers a lien placed on Jeane's former residence over legal bills. Once again, you may not have fries with that.

 March 19, 2008 pretrial hearing (.txt file):

December 10, 2008 Court lien order over Palfrey estate legal debts to Montgomery Blair Sibley (PDF):

Postscript, 12.22.2012:  Does any of this read like a real trial where Anglo-American principles of justice were being applied? If so, I have a bridge and swampland to sell you. What the hell was Preston Burton thinking beyond having to work with his peers again after this bullshit charade? This is where Sibley was at least genuinely adversarial. What did Burton do to convince Jeane to lay down and die, to agree to mounting no goddamned defense at all? 

To be fair, and I can only look at this as a layman, his cross-examinations of the witnesses were solid, appropriate, what you'd expect, but little more was done beyond that. Was he on the side of the defendant at all? This wasn't a trial, it was theater, the political kind, to cover for the GOP and various selfish interests. Shame. Pathetic. This is how not only democracy dies but the human race. You got it: no one gives a shit. RIP America.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

a message to agents of control

In the immortal words of Genesis P-Orridge, who I literally bumped into at the Empty Bottle in Chicago in 2004 after being ogled by Ministry-alumnus Chris Connelly: fuck you.

To the little turd(s) that attempted feebly to intimidate me into not releasing this book--fuck you. To the GOP, and everyone who voted for them--fuck you. To everyone who ever fancied themselves members of the Tea Party--fuck you.

And to all you ugly American motherfuckers who think whistleblowing is unpatriotic, all you racists, you liars, you criminal scumbag fucks--fuck you, forever. You were never alive. You're all husks. You will die, there will be no happy hunting grounds, no afterlife, only more death. What more could I do to you that you haven't already done to yourselves, your families, your neighbors?

You've made me fall in love with mortality to the point that when death comes, I'll shove my tongue hard down the fucker's throat, simply to be away from you, forever. Happy holidays!

songs from the sitemeter: in russia...

I commented on this before, but wow, interesting, and hello to my Russian readers!

Here's the gist: there are nearly as many Russian readers of this blog as Americans. I'm still trying to process this to understand why. If any of you can enlighten me, I'd be very pleased. Either way, it's pleasing in itself.

What can I say except that I feel the US and Russia are so similar, what with both nations being oligarchies and police states? Shhhhh, I know, don't tell the little people here in A'murka that, especially the ones who still have purchasing power...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

a message to a certain class of people in let the dead bury the dead

I will be pushing this book into forever, if only casually. Other than Mr. Sibley and couple of others in it, you're going to have to buy the book to find out what I wrote about you, most of which is my opinion, the rest fact. Your hunches are correct: the fact that some of you are going to have to buy it to find out delights me to no end, fuck you very much. I'm not naming names here. You know who you are. My book aside, I hope you do for your own sake know who you are.

Psst! let the dead bury the dead is also available at...

You can also find the book at, which was purchased by Amazon a few years ago. I'm not 100% certain, but I think buying it there means slightly more royalties for me, hint-hint:

I don't do windows. You may not have fries with your tritium.

Let the Dead Bury the Dead is now available in the EU!

And here it is for the UK:
Amazon France:

Amazon Germany:

And Amazon Italy:

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

once again: it's fortune cookie exegesis time

A trinket/reach-around from the recent raping of my digestive system at a nearby Chinese eatery: "People may doubt what you say [,] but will believe what you do."

Ratiocination: this is actually a sage observation, cricket-head. Listen to what people do, not what they say. This cookie came 49 years too late for Lee Harvey Oswald, poor guy...

Upcoming Book Contest & Other issues from the flesh

I haven’t worked out all of the particulars yet, but I’ve set aside a few copies of the book for later. As you might have expected, I’m not making the parameters effortless, or easy for the contest. There will be a few hoops, but the winners will receive a free signed (as opposed to singed, what some of Palfrey’s former clients probably want) copy of the book, and my blessing, the latter of which means absolutely nothing whatsoever. Anyone capable of proving the DC Madam doesn’t need anything from me, not that I think that’s ever going to happen, like Jesus returning, nutty, crazy primitive-minded shit like that.

We’re only in the first week of the release of the book and I’ve already brushed up against more high weirdness. This brings me to other matters…

As a result of these little elves, pixies, and gremlins flitting about me yob, I’m going to make things crystal clear: I will not continue to live this nuttiness surrounding the Palfrey case and narrative. I am turning my back on it with the completion of this text. I will be more than happy to answer any serious questions. However, I don’t want to hear your gossiping about people who were part of or related to the case itself. Any logical corrections that can be proven/corroborated (your job, not mine) will be appreciated and noted. I don’t give a shit anymore about the story and owe nobody nothing regarding the DC Madam. That responsibility was discharged writing the book.

My role in this is over, done, unless there’s some burning reason otherwise. If you have questions, ask the book first, consult it. This isn’t to slam anyone with good intentions. I will discuss the case and am open to interviews. However, I’m not tolerating any bullshit, and it’s literally no effort for me to ignore you, the easiest thing in the world in fact. This isn’t my usual jokiness, it’s dead serious. If you don’t get it, I don’t care, but you’re going to be humiliated twice, first by yourself, then by me, and I will air it publicly naming names.

Anyone I’ve communicated with recently has nothing to worry about. The book is the best bargain the American public are likely to have for some time. You’re most welcome. Witche, ye haave been foun' guilty 'a commerce with thee Devile.

"at the end of the day/The bottom line is..."

This is one for American management, the biggest losers of all time, the unwanted babies of modernity (and postmodernity), the essence of redundancy made flesh that's going to look like the joke that it is down the road, in the annals of our national history, and of the species.

I'm not even going to go into examples and contexts here, but we all know some douchnozzle who's spouted this line either as a preface to something more inane and meaningless, or an equally meaningless addendum, maybe a lame parting shot because they lack any wit. OK, that's untrue, because you only need to add a "t" to create the word that describes them best.

This is related to the more recent "mansplaining," by the way, since it emanates from the same crowd of stupid males who are constantly out of their depth, who lack any real intellect, but sure know how to spew crap from the wrong orifice. No, this isn't merely about your asshole boss at the office, or politicians, but it does start with domestic tyrants, people whose families would be doing the world a favor by beating them down every morning into their bowl of gruel, and with luck, drowning them in it, but really, doing anything to make them shut the fuck up for once in their unimaginably pointless lives. These are the assholes who killed God. He died of disgust, committed suicide: "I created that? Well fuck me..."

Diagram a sentence--if you dare--and you'll find that "At the end of the day" and "The bottom line is" add nothing to the meaning, try it some time, you'll see. That's never going to stop assholes whose souls died shortly after birth from spewing it. How else are they going to be the assholes they are? All it does is underscore their own lack of meaning and purpose in a universe that doesn't care because it can't. At least they're dead forever too. If they found a way around it, I'd be leading the mob of torch bearing villagers to drive a stake through their blackened hearts.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Will there be an e-book? (And errata)

Yes, there will indeed be an e-book, and it's coming soon, perhaps within the month. There have been issues with formatting, and I want any e-book edition to be of a good quality like the hard copy version. It will also be available from Amazon. Let the Dead Bury the Dead isn't an easy book to format, and this is my Luddite bias rearing its head here, but it has far more impact as a pretty effective physical copy book, if I do say so myself, and I do. The fact is, I want this book to reach motherfuckers from here to Irkutsk, no bullshit, far and wide. I consider that the book is a return of historical writing as literature. 

People want to read something that's alive, not leaden and overly formal--too academic. I could have footnoted, yes, but why is that necessary in a historical account? That question hit me early-on in the process, and while I do direct the reader to where sometimes secondary information is from, a lot of the book is primary information being published for the first time, or at least outside of my blog. I didn't wait long after Jeane's death to begin sharing that information with the public, most of it emails between us, others, and any number of permutations of correspondents. There are also excerpts from public documents, Palfrey's trial transcripts, affidavits, from her case and those of others, online exchanges, and shots from slavering right-wing trolls out of the shadows of electronic aether, a lot of communications mediums, too many. No matter how you cut it, I prefer traditional books. They never crash, only burn, at four hundred and fifty degrees fahrenheit.

A great deal of effort was expended trying to preserve the original layouts of emails and public documents during formatting, and while you can only do so much, most of them look essentially as they did. Some of this will inevitably be lost in formatting for various e-book platforms, but anything PDF will be unchanged. With the Kindle, I'm almost certain that it should turn out well, however, some of the impact of the original will be lost. Regardless of that, I believe the book will stand on its own legs.

you can have fries with that: amazon updates on let the dead bury the dead

The "Look Inside" function is now enabled at the Amazon page, and I like how they did it: only so many pages from the first chapter, almost all of the preface, or all, the index, table of contents, and a bit more, but not enough for the deadbeats. Generally speaking, I've been pretty pleased with CreateSpace, thus far, and have been surprised at the ease of their setup. Now, you can see a little for yourself. 

I'm planning some future e-books too. They will not be of this book for the foreseeable future. Be glad: books never crash, only burn, and that takes effort.

Let the Dead Bury the Dead's Amazon page:

Finally, I've been sending out a number of review copies. If you're a member of the press/media and are actually serious about discussing the book and its implications, drop me a line. If you're not, don't go changin'. I'm certain we don't have to worry about that.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

let the dead bury the dead availability

As of today, Let the Dead Bury the Dead is available from Amazon US. In a few weeks it should be available in the EU. There will be no e-book for some time, at least a year.

Now available:

Sunday, November 25, 2012

what to expect from let the dead bury the dead

Ed.–There will be some excerpts on this site, coming soon.
Too often mislabeled as a “routine” sex scandal by the press, and a prostitution/racketeering/money laundering case by government prosecutors, the charges leveled against the “DC Madam” were a mockery of justice without precedent. This is a tale of institutionalized crony capitalism and the return of aristocracy into a corporate mold. Let the Dead Bury the Dead sheds new light on the investigation, legal proceedings and the phenomenon of the DC Madam, from a witness to history. Drawing from his direct involvement in the case—as well as from a significant array of primary historical materials never before seen by the public–the author will illustrate that there was nothing normal about how the charges against the late Deborah Jeane Palfrey were applied, quite the contrary. 

From the mainstream media’s attempts at defining and dismissing many explosive facts and patterns in the case to the legal proceedings and show trial, the DC Madam story illuminates textbook examples of prosecutorial misconduct, information warfare, judicial abuse, and political damage control. Possibly a harbinger of things to come, the subsequent death of the DC Madam stands as a shadow testament to the political crisis that ran riot in America under President George W. Bush, and that continues into the present. Media, government and the business sector colluded to bury the story, and for the most part, they have, until now.

Many readers will learn for the first time that:

-The DC Madam’s phone records are littered with phone calls from defense-intelligence contractors.

-Palfrey claimed to have received multiple calls from Brent Wilkes, the government contractor who bribed convicted California congressman Randy “Duke” Cunningham.

-Palfrey’s legal problems began innocuously thanks to a diligent Postal Inspector…and it spiraled out of control from there.

-Deborah Jeane Palfrey knew less than she let on and can be counted as another victim of arbitrary power.

-Palfrey was granted wide, unprecedented subpoena powers over the American intelligence community and Beltway law enforcement.

-There are more “big names” in her legendary phone records yet to be published.

-Porn publisher Larry Flynt assisted Palfrey more than previously thought, promising her a form of asylum in the aftermath of her trial.

-Palfrey was under periodic observation longer than previously reported, by federal law enforcement, and persons unknown.

-Palfrey was much fairer than the typical American employer by miles, which isn’t difficult in an oligarchy…

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Let the Dead Bury the Dead cover

let the dead bury the dead is now available!

At present, the book is now available at CreateSpace (a subsidiary of Amazon):

All the information on it is there, but I can state that, at least for the present, it's 27.95 USD, plus shipping. At 622 pages, it's reasonably priced. There will be sales after it's gone up on Amazon US, and in the weeks after, in the EU. 

I'm hoping there will be a lot of interest in the book, what with how popular the US is there now (I jest). That could help, actually, the anti-American sentiment, because Let the Dead Bury the Dead doesn't paint an especially pretty picture of America as a nation and a culture. That, of course, isn't my fault entirely, it's shared. We all own a piece of this mess. What the reaction to the book will be is beyond my ability to know, but I suspect that it will be mixed. That's fine, and I have to say here that it doesn't matter either way when you're dealing with a historical account. There are no rules here except to be as sincere and as accurate as it was possible at the time. I've gone gone above and beyond the call and honored that. 

There have been a few nibbles already from media and interested parties who want to do coverage. I welcome any and all interested parties who are thoughtful, who are receptive, and who at least know a modicum of the facts surrounding the case. It would be unfair to expect prospective interviewers to know as much as I do about the case, because most of what's in the text is out of view, or not well-known at all. Then, there's my unique take on it and my analysis, which I believe is actually more explosive than the primary materials in the book itself. Not a lot of people share my vantage in all of this for reasons of career--mostly selfish reasons. That's their problem, and I will not be humoring anyone with an obvious agenda. I also won't be answering questions from the conspiracy nut crowd, so save it. I don't recognize any legitimacy of these right-wing clowns. You will be ignored.

As for review copies, they will be provided only in the event of an actual review being written. Tiny blogs--like my own--will not be getting any copies, I'm not a charity. Serious inquiries only, the rest I will ignore...

Friday, November 23, 2012

and another thing (Libertarians)...

Your boy Grover Norquist is about to look as nebbish and stupid to you as he is to the rest of us, the majority of the human race. Now that Saxby Chambliss (a girl's name?), the Foghorn Leghorn from Geor-gia,  has kicked your boy's dumbo "no-tax pledge," your time in the sun is over. Anyone with more than two brain cells knows that American Libertarianism is a white boy fixation, and not many of them at that, in reality. That same demographic wave that's going to consume and destroy the GOP is going to take you down, because you're really extremist Republicans. Maybe that's too fair. I think what you really all are is a textbook example of emotional and intellectual retardation having a political expression. Over, done. Enough with the delusions of adequacy.

One Final Shot Across an Asshole's Bow Before Pulling the Trigger...

"I look forward to fourth coming litigation, marathon deposition sessions of every blogger that had made a post regarding Jack Burkman and the loves of his life! Win,Lose it doesn't matter! Its going to be very expensive for all parties involved! Or, you can shut this site down as soon as possible!
Dennis G. Brewer Sr. And Associates, P.C.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012 12:27:00 AM EDT"

And I look forward to kicking your tiny dick in the dirt--what of it? Your mother sucks cocks in hell, eat a leper, do your best/worst. Blow me, asshole...

Wednesday, November 21, 2012


The proof arrived today. It looks excellent. What surprised me the most was how great the cover came out. There's a teaser of it on the book's new blog @ I also have a Twitter account under my name @ The book itself will be available at I will be announcing a price and release date within a few days, no more than a week. The price of the book is not unreasonable and was determined looking at time and labor invested, printing costs, length of the text itself, and other related issues, a big book, a large trade paperback. I'll be putting it on sale, reduced, for a time, then periodically after that, either by Amazon, or me. I'm edging towards holding-off on an e-book right now, but I won't keep anyone waiting long on it. 
 I'm very interested in getting Let the Dead Bury the Dead into university collections and onto library shelves.
The book will also be available in the European Union. Regardless of what I do, the mainstream media's sure to go out of their way to avoid covering its existence. If serious journalist want to speak with me, I'm open to it. Now, if we can find any in the continental United States...

Without being too prolix: I will not speak to the conspiracy nut crowd, and yeah, you know who you are. Talk to the hand, read the book, interrogate it, and be sure not to waste my time on your way out. I shit on your opinions, show me facts, not what you want to believe, and the latter goes for everyone. I'm not concerned about them unless they're educated ones.

Will I be censored? For the most part, prior restraint isn't allowable in the United States, while libel and defamation cases are notoriously difficult to establish effectively. The outcome is rarely in favor of the plaintiff, and I'm not even taking into account how full the dockets are these days. There have already been attempts with the phony cease and desists. Someone has no respect for the First Amendment whatsoever and wants me to pull things out of the book and to take down most of what's related to the DC Madam from this blog. I will not be stopped. This book will go wide, as-is. There are no lies coming from me in this historical account. Are there inaccuracies, am I wrong about some things? It would be impossible for that not to be so, I am a man, not a god, and neither are any of us, contrary to moronic conceits making the rounds this aeon. As much as a human being can be, I was sincere, honest, and forthright in writing this book, and, it's my right to publish on it because these were my experiences. That's including my interaction with all of the information contained within it. Because I was a player in the case, neither the information and my interaction can be separated, they are one, finis. The book is as much me as it is the case. If there's something wrong with that, I must be, technically speaking, illegal. The public has a right to know, and will. No one's going to stop that, and I mean no one, none born of woman on this earth.

Most of my day was spent looking over how the proof turned out. As I wrote, it's looking very close to what I hoped for. Title page, table of contents, chapter headings, paragraphing--they all look up to a level of quality that I can live with. I believe this book is something to be proud of. With virtually no resources, I was able to accumulate some extraordinary information on Jeane's prosecution, and not merely my part of it, there were too many players to even begin mentioning. That would take another book by itself, as well as one on Montgomery Blair Sibley, who, I think, the culture should pay a little more attention to, since he's unquestionably an interesting man. Most Americans don't really know who he; is; the answer always comes from who your ancestors were. I believe his questioning of the validity of President Obama's birth certificate is wrong-headed, but his family history is our nation's. Maybe one day I'll write a book on one of the Sibleys, or Blairs. I have no intentions of writing another book on the DC Madam. I do hope that others involved in the case, the escorts most of all, would come forward with more information. So far, none of them have in any meaningful sense.

 A number of people have come forward to help me--I thank you all, and to my sources as well. All told, including additional research, editing, and revisions, the book required four years to write. In reality, there was just me, that is, Matt, and no three droogs. I had to do everything. Working in the case while it was happening was unpleasant enough, but to add on more years is prison. Real writers write because they have no choice. I had no choice. To not have written this, to not have gotten what happened off my chest in this manner, would have killed me, I found the whole thing so terrible, so tragic. Jeane didn't need to die, but now I can bury her, me, the living. 

Expect a release date within a few days. We might be pulling the trigger before the end of the month on this.
Ladies & gentlemen, if there are any left out there, be forewarned: I spare nobody in my account. Not even myself. If you are easily frightened; and if you have a tendency towards anxiousness, nervousness, and paranoia; this ride is not for you. Keep your hands and feet below the marked safety bar. Watching a national mythology come crashing down before one's eyes is never easy, I know. Enjoy the ride, when there's no more road left on dead end street, yo, top that.

Friday, November 16, 2012

more good news on the book...

I ordered the first proof today and should be receiving it within about a week. Wish us luck! Going only from the templates and files, the appearance should be pretty solid with a good interplay between the text and the cover design. The price will be announced the day it goes on sale and is reasonable based on length, the subject, and effort expended. No one's getting rich here, least of all me.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

important accouncement on the upcoming DC madam account

The final manuscript is now locked at 622 pages, after adjusting for formatting, so that's everything, nothing removed, index included. I couldn't be more proud. There are no rules and there is no road map writing a historical account, there is only you and whatever wits you might possess. For even the most independent-minded of us, this is like walking a tightrope over a lava pit, and it is an excruciating, awful process writing about yourself. What's right? When you first start out, it goes well beyond writer's block. There's a natural hesitancy not to want to, not simply because we all tend to paint ourselves as better than we really are. I'm pretty certain that in the span of human history, there have been no people on this earth who were able to get around that problem wholly. No one's exempt.

That's not to say that people consciously lie--I haven't in my account in any place, on any page--but that we're all pretty much the same, and who wants to look at themselves as a piece of shit? No, the BDSM crowd don't count, sorry. Maybe it's part of the Cartesian-split, the mind-body problem, that we aren't always good at looking at ourselves because we've been taught how to look at the world incorrectly.

Unlike Jeane and a lot of people in America, I don't believe we live after death. What I believe is that mind came from body, and that we die with this body. Why isn't it obvious that our mind and bodies are one? Religion, but it's a problem also embedded in science, politics, culture, you name it, it's pervasive. I'm not a total materialist, or an atheist, but agnostic. Life has enough mysteries to be pretty bizarre. For some reason, this isn't enough for some people, I don't get it. Yes, dying isn't great--it's not supposed to be. Accept it or not, but we're all going to die one day, so live it up. Unfortunately, yes, some of us are going sooner than others. That's what will always bother me about this goddamned case. Jeane died before her time, it was avoidable. They let her die, we, let her die in our indifference, the same apathy that's given us the biggest police state apparatus in human history. The flaw in Western thinking is this weird idea that things are separate when they're not. We poison our water and believing we're removed enough from it that we don't need to worry about it, let the people downstream deal with it, fuck 'em. We've gone crazy enough to believe that we can now control the weather. We believe that people are separate from one another, when this is completely untrue--just watch how an outbreak of something spreads, just one example. It's some hippie crap to say that we're all interconnected, when it's the simple truth. The Occult tradition in the West produced this gem of wisdom: whatever you put out there comes back, multiplied. (Often in threes, justice found in mathematics no less.) Knowledge is power, but so is wisdom, and you learn the latter through terrible suffering, the kind that makes death look inviting.

I believe that I've overcome most of that tendency to recast myself as someone wearing a white hat, hence the pain, and brother, there is no pain like it. Nothing touches how deep it reaches inside of you and tears you apart. You cannot fault yourself for accidents or errors--mistakes--that no one could have had control over. It's not that I was self-deprecating in the writing of this book, it's that I and many other people failed someone, and so there it is again: We're all the same and are imperfect. That's what being a human being is, to be flawed, judged by the very standards we made up along the way, more often through habit. Talking can be addictive. Everything is an addiction. Reading is an addiction. Watching is an addiction. Food is an addiction. Drinking too much water can become intoxicating and ultimately kill you. Sex, as everyone knows, can be an addiction to the point that it becomes unhealthy. We all have a lot of habits to break. Whether I  break the writing habit remains to be seen.

The book will, I hope, stand on its own legs, and that word will get out far and wide about it. That, of course, is up to me, but also you, the reader, to spread the word if you believe I've gotten most of the story right. I think it's going to be a mixed-bag: there are so many things in it that are simply factual, and opinions about facts mean nothing. Most of the book is my participation in the case. I will be writing more as the release date approaches at another location, probably copying to here as well, so either site will be a go.

There is not one thing, one line, one quote, anything, that was put into my account that I knew or believed to be untrue. I haven't included many things--you would end up with a book over 1,000 pages long, easily. The reader should come away from the book feeling that not only was this about someone's experience, therefore a primary historical document, but that it's a reference book. I can say with absolute certainty that there has never been a book like this, and that's not knocking Montgomery Blair Sibley's book, Why Just Her, just the opposite, I think they're complimentary of each other, one augmenting the other. While I didn't use quite as much legal language--legalese--I believe it will stand up over time as part of the case, its residue. A couple of centuries ago, writing on historical events was considered a form of literature. For that and the sake of readability, there is a literary approach to some of the book, but in the end, this is all my voice. I'm feeling a little hoarse now, and, oddly, that was the meaning of the French surname, Palfrey.

This was almost as bad as being the poor, dumb asshole journalist in Citizen Kane, looking everywhere to find out what all this Rosebud business was about. What were some of Palfrey's deepest secrets? With the CIA thrown into the mix, anything's possible. I cannot claim to know, her family might, and they should be left in peace. It should be taken into consideration that there will almost certainly be things that I'm wrong about in the text, misreadings of events and information, not just by me, but by the subject and many other players, it's inevitable, and none of it would necessarily be conscious. There's smoke down in Hell, which sometimes causes a natural occlusion. And, again, I could simply be wrong about something.
The DC Madam case is a mostly incomplete mosaic, and I make it clear in the text when I'm speculating. This is due mostly to the fact that whole swaths of the record aren't available to the public. There are also selfish motives by any number of people who communicated with Palfrey to sit on what they know, information they might have, but then there are confidentiality agreements. Most of this is understandable in an era where certain information has a very real world value, we all get this by now, even Ret. General Petraeus.
A late November release looks good, but no later than December, a blackened X-Mas present for the GOP to themselves, by way of me, a woman whose death they own.

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

the end of the southern strategy

That's it, over, done. Nigger-baiting in national elections has played out. For the entirety of my life until now, this has been the GOP's plank strategy. Thanks to a shift in demographics that's ongoing and will continue well into the future, America's going to be a predominantly brown nation, thanks mostly to Hispanic immigrants. Think about it: this has been going on since 1968. What Boogeyman is the Republican Party going to find next? Oh sure, terrorists, but that's not going to fit the bill.

No, I think they're basically screwed, but then, so are the rest of us thanks to them and racist American evangelicals (rural hicks, white Southerners generally). We're still heading on the wrong course in our obsession with military adventurism. We still have Citizens United. Ah, and don't think President Obama is FDR--he's not. What he's going to do is tow their line about the national debt, misrepresenting it, making the same claims that fly in the face of accepted economics theory, and we'll continue to have the same problems, albeit with a privatized or non-existent social safety net, and it will have been done by Democratic hands, not primarily Republican ones.

So, great, enjoy the parties for now, but the fact is that President Obama is going to continue to roll back our civil liberties with NDAA, a war on lawful government whistleblowers, and he's going to continue to commit heinous war crimes in the Middle East, North Africa, Africa generally, Asia, and so on, little will change. The missing-ingredient once more is the public holding him accountable, but with partisan tribalism what it is now, forget it. The American public will continue to be on the one hand an apathetic demographic blob, and a bloodthirsty rabble, the dream of authoritarians everywhere.

But at least the Southern strategy is over, done, kaput, and I can watch the assholes that ruined my nation writhe for four more years. None of this is reassuring. Expect the president to cut back on social services and to gut solid programs like Social Security. It's coming, and you're going to own it, because you're just as irrational as the Republicans, dear lockstep Democrats, you're exactly the same kind of morons.

Monday, November 05, 2012

To err is human...

I always err on the side of erring, and erring-do, and let me tell you, that style went out ages ago. Yes, there are people who fuck up fucking up, yes. [Ed. 11.13.2012: So, in essence, they get it 'right.']

Saturday, November 03, 2012

media & prospective interviewers

As I've made clear in these past postings, I'm running the show. There will be review copies sent by request and no preview copies. I'm not concerned about your opinions on that either. This will be accompanied by an agreement not to illegally disseminate copies. I have a way of tracking this too, so don't think it's going to float if you have any weird ideas about that.

To sum it up: Any question I don't care to answer, I won't. If you push the issue, the interview is over, done, forever, don't contact me again. Serious inquiries only. Mainstream media--if any bother to cover this, which I doubt for reasons that are expanded upon in the book--will have to go buy a copy, unless they can give me a compelling reason why not. I have close to zero respect for any of that, like the rest of the public, I don't trust you, and go "balance" yourself to check yourself.

Not that I expect anyone to do their homework as I have on this subject, and we're talking five years running now,  how exactly can any of you accurately assess what I experienced? That comes down to who you trust and what you uncover. Yes, there are likely many more pieces of information I haven't, and there are other players in the event with their own opinions who were privy to other parts of the story, we know this. You're objective, neither am I, and don't insult my or anyone's intelligence trying to kid us that you are, or that you're more objective, you're not. I'm not a nihilist, but you're not going to find the ultimate truth of whole swaths of this case. With the state of journalism today, I'm on solid ground. Ever attempt has been made to corroborate what's in the book.

If you want to conduct interviews, I'm here, contact me via the profile page.

awright assholes (on trolls and eternal kiddies)

Here's the deal: I know some of you fuckers in the book are going to screw with me once the book is out on the DC Madam. Oh yes, you're in it, Sunshine, and nope, I'm not the first, or the last, to publish on it. I know from experience now that you're dumb enough to keep hitting me with fake cease and desists, all kinds of threats to intimidate. None of that's going to work, save it, that is, unless you want me to be able to accumulate enough evidence for a legal counterattack that will surely decimate you, because I'll go for damages, bank on it.

This site gets no more than one hundred hits-per-day, we're talking page views. No judge in the continental United States would even hear a libel/defamation case on that one alone, because it would then be virtually impossible to establish that I was even remotely capable of inflicting any harm on anyone's reputation or their ability to make a living, just the opposite, it would be a laughable endeavor. Take me to court simply to inflict financial harm on me? Civil court procedure would allow me to yank even more information about you and drag into the public record, and mark these words: I would in a way that would be perfectly germane to the suit filed against me, so, better not have any skeletons lying around. Also, I have enough paralegal experience and general researching ability to do the vast majority of that side of the process, and so, once again, you'd better have a damned reason to come at me, because I'll back at you like the Soviets routing the Wermacht, I'll eat your ass alive.

I play for keeps. I'm not fucking around. This book is serious, your behavior is your fault, and you have to pay the consequences for it, not I. If that's hard for you to comprehend or to accept, ask me the chasms of space, of the depths of I-don't-give-a-fuck on my end of the equation, it's infinite and unbending as death. If you were in public office, if you were playing football for Annapolis and posting things about yourself online to promote your ugly visage, if you were a government contractor written and spoken of endlessly in the media, if you're a federal jurist, a former AUSA or USA, military adviser, an employee of a government contractor with a public presence, you have no recourse over my book. I don't make allegations when I know the facts. I don't speculate and not tell the reader when I'm doing so, it's made clear.

I believe the primary evidence in the book speaks for itself. However, with few exceptions, none of you were involved in the case the way I was, even others who were. My association with Jeane was unique, because we were both outsiders in this rotten society, her witch to my warlock, call it what you will, but I am in general opposition to the overarching culture in the United States and always will be. Nothing will ever change this. America was a criminal nation from its inception. These goofy incidents of online harassment, these nebbish, lying, scummy, pathetic attempts to intimidate and silence me are eternal examples of how privileged people with no values, no character, and no just cause, undermine themselves and solidify opposition. This is how scoundrels go down, and how empires blow their balls off and accelerate the process of their disempowerment. If you want to be one more animal like that, great, jerk yourself off on that one. History is littered with this shit, and I know human history very well, better than you by miles, because I understand its nature.

Know this: if you come at me, you just promoted the book better than I ever could.

Also, anyone making the comment, "Be careful, you might end up like Gary Webb," even in jest, will be exiled permanently, you will no longer communicate with me, there will be no more replies. My rules. Don't like them, go whimper to someone who gives a shit.

If there's even one comment that Jeane was "suicided," you will be exiled, never to return, access gone forever, no reprieves. No one is wasting my time, your ego is overrated, and you have small dick, because the majority of you are males, not men., not adults, but mooks, even you boomer males who needed gelding a long way back. I don't care about your fucking opinions, so save it. This was my experience, not yours. You don't know as much as you think you do. In fact, you're pretty fucking stupid and your ass is the right. You look stupid. Tuck that shirt in. Polish those boots, and Jesus fucking Christ, remake that goddamned bed right now, until I can bounce a quarter off of if it, you lazy, incompetent asshole, you mook. You will not talk. You will not write. You will not. You will, however, shut up.

Yes, there are some stupid out there who also run to conspiracy theories--there are a variety of reasons for this, but the main one is cowardice and conformist tendencies. But men are far stupider in this culture and make up the vast majority of conspiracy kooks, just as men commit around 90% of all rapes in the US.

The fact that this book exists is enough--take your consumer pea-brains and fuck yourselves about sales figures. If that was the case, the Velvet Underground wouldn't have been so influential, they sold jack and shit for ages, but changed music forever. This book contains that kind of archetypal power. I believe it is the truth of the case and its place in the firmament of American history. This is a account. There are no rules to a historical account, regardless of what anyone might say. When you're part of a historical event, it's as personal as it gets. I know for a fact that I've already left my mark. I'm very satisfied, and expect to gain more satisfaction, the kind you're thinking, the kind that inspired duels. I'm an ant, but at least a minor historical player. Are you? Then go do something of value for society and the common good, put your ass on the line, or shut the fuck up, your comments are unimportant and empty, like you.

I refer anyone who I detect with a right-wing anti-government agenda to the above text. I'll shut you down right away, and you'll either be booted, or the interview will end, non-negotiable, it will be over.

I don't kiss people's asses to curry favor, to get something, as so many creeps in this settler state do. This doesn't make me morally superior, it makes me functional amongst the dysfunctional mass of unwanted children. Small wonder they hate abortion. Your god won't save. Save yourself, change. Don't change? Then you will die by your own hand, the law of the jungle, and how nations and empires crumble, like flesh. You are not gods, you are risen apes, we are, but evolution also has a spiritual dimension, and you're failing the audition miserably. Give up, come out with your hands up, it's over, you lost, long ago. The Shibboleths and Priests you've placed on a pedestal will die, and like you, will only be remembered in their infamy, their lack, and the fact that they were the wretchedness of the human race, the murderers of humanity, the darkness enveloping this world. You are nothing, you never were, and Pluto is your god, so small wonder that you long for death and why you sow it, why you worship war criminals and ignore what's going on around you. There's nothing lower than this.

Truth comes to collect one day, and that day is coming  very, very soon. Better dig in those pockets--but they're empty thanks to your lies and your love of them. You are nothing, and never were. That's punishment enough, but in the meantime, you still need to be subdued by the rest of us. Now, nature has come to collect, and more lies will fall away, and the truth, crushed to earth, will rise again, like resurrection day. Jeane will haunt you bastards for the rest of your natural lives. It doesn't matter what some jaded asshole like you thinks, that because you "have no conscience," it won't ever touch you. Even Ted Bundy was haunted by some of the women he murdered and was unable to face the fact that he was made a monster by his abusive grandfather. The architecture of the human mind will come for you. If it comes right at the end, so be it, even better. You cannot escape a sun that never sets.You're not fooling anyone with your pathetic, sarcastic laughter either, that's theater. You're scared because you know you're busted and that I can see right through you, into to you, your empty, black heart.

Thursday, November 01, 2012

The Bonnie Banks O Fordie (Babylon)

THERE were three ladies lived in a bower,
  Eh vow bonnie

And they went out to pull a flower,
  On the bonnie banks o Fordie

They hadna pu’ed a flower but ane,
When up started to them a banisht man.

He’s taen the first sister by her hand,
And he’s turned her round and made her stand.

“It’s whether will ye be a rank robber’s wife,
Or will ye die by my wee pen-knife?”       

“It’s I’ll not be a rank robber’s wife,
But I’ll rather die by your wee pen-knife.”

He’s killed this may, and he’s laid her by,
For to bear the red rose company.

He’s taken the second ane by the hand,
And he’s turned her round and made her stand.

“It’s whether will ye be a rank robber’s wife,
Or will ye die by my wee pen-knife?”

“I’ll not be a rank robber’s wife,
But I’ll rather die by your wee pen-knife.”       

He’s killed this may, and he’s laid her by,
For to bear the red rose company.

He’s taken the youngest ane by the hand,
And he’s turned her round and made her stand.

Says, “Will ye be a rank robber’s wife,
Or will ye die by my wee pen-knife?”

“I’ll not be a rank robber’s wife,
Nor will I die by your wee pen-knife.

“For I hae a brother in this wood,
And gin ye kill me, it’s he’ll kill thee.”       

“What’s thy brother’s name? come tell to me.”
“My brother’s name it is Babylon.”

“O sister, sister, what have I done!
O have I done this ill to thee!

“O since I’ve done this evil deed,
Good sall never be seen o me.”

He’s taken out his wee pen-knife,
And he’s twyned  himsel o his ain sweet life.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

all soul's day

I knew without planning it that the account was going to be finished on this day. That's not just serendipity, it's the architecture of fate. Rather than the dead burying the dead--part of why we have historical amnesia in this country--I, the living, am burying my part of Jeane. Why she picked me to assist her I believe is complicated. For one, I know she didn't want me pissing in the tent and preferred me pissing outwards. You could say she wanted to keep me on ice during the proceedings, most certainly a good possibility there. That means I was definitely onto something, maybe many fundamental somethings about her case. The problem was, not a lot of that was exculpatory. Such is life. Her suffering is over, ours continues until we meet our own endings, like a story. Anything ending tends to choke the best of us up, it's got a sadness to it that's part of the human condition. And so it goes. I'll probably even lay out a meal for her, and all of the people who I and my family have lost--who everyone has lost, because that's what All Soul's Day is about, remembering, honoring, and continuing on.

Postscript 11.03.12--And so it did, so mote it be, the circle is completed.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Monique Rawlings

Still waiting for an explanation from Jason Leopold about who you really are, and what you both were up to, specifically. I'm not coloring it as anything conspiratorial, criminal, but yes, I believe what you two were up to was unethical.

Oh yeah, and I thought I'd write your name a few more times online since it pisses you off, you asshole, fuck you very much. You might rank as one of the biggest phonies and assholes I've come across in my life, a real turd. You have a sense of entitlement that's absurd, and yes, it colors my view of Mr. Leopold that he was associate with a piece of excrement like you, you asshole, you little woman, you fake. Not only are you a sellout, you remind me what a antisocial personality disorder looks like in action.

Did I say you were an asshole? I did, but let's say it again: You're an asshole, but you know this every time you look in the mirror. It might not be conscious--you are an egomaniac, after all--but you know you're a joke. You did everything you could at key moments to consciously paint me in a bad light before Jeane. There was no call for it, and it was a betrayal of trust. How can you possibly call yourself a progressive when you stab someone in the back, not once, but twice?

The first time, and we were effectively out of an official agreement with Jeane, I emailed her asking to publish something that you and Jason clearly coveted. I don't even recall what the fuck it was, or care anymore, but you then sent out an email trying to define the situation in a way that absolutely inappropriate under the circumstances, you had an agenda, a selfish one, then had the audacity to turn around and project it onto me. That's classic manipulative behavior, and I have to wonder if you're sick. The other time was unbelievably petty, in our pointless conference call with that other fake and hustler, Sam Deskin. That's in the book, I won't reiterate here, but it was coming from someone who hadn't been asked to help by the defendant as I had, you had approached Jeane. You had no call or moral high ground, and in fact, are profoundly antisocial to do something of that order, unbelievable the temerity there.

My advice? Get help, now. Also, who are you, really? What are you? One thing I do know, and that's that you have no real sense of morality at all. And that's why I outed your ass. You then had the gall to be upset and angry when I did this after all you had done--the insults, the jabs, and finally, the two events I described above. Fuck you. Fuck your family that unfortunately bore and raised you, poorly I might add, though that might be your and the fault of your genes there. Finally, lastly, you have the most appalling grammar I have ever witnessed outside of Mississippi, or skid row, pathetic. You either never proof, or you can barely write. I'm sure that's never been a hindrance for you in the corporate world. Fuck you.