Monday, March 31, 2008

A Modest Proposal for Drug-Testing...

Amurka' (thanks Virginia!)--It should be law that every single politician holding office in the United States of America be required to have a monthly drug-test, and for all illicit and pharmaceutical drugs that can be abused. Period. Also, all corporate executives should be tested every three-days, since cocaine tends to leave your system. The corporations would be required to foot-the-bill for their own tests, and couldn't use their own subsidiary firms to do the drug-testing in any. No exceptions, no loopholes.

Also, everyone working at a drug-testing firm would have to be tested every week, especially the executives and shareholders. Outside of dangerous jobs, and vocations that absolutely require an individual to be clean and sober (like airline pilots, machinists, surgeons, etc.), the public should be completely immune to drug-testing.

Secretaries, clerks, and people who man cash registers aren't posing any threat. The President of the United States should always be tested for pills and booze, particularly if they're a Republican. It doesn't matter. Soon, there won't be money for anything, they're even pulling-the-plug on the war on drugs these days. Such are the ways of a a declining empire. And that brings us to the death of the month of March, 2008.