Saturday, December 30, 2006
GERALD FORD'S LAST GAFFE
wARshInTuHN-They're all gonna Sunday-go-ta'-meetin' tomorrow in the Capitol building, to see Gerald Ford's vacated-body. OK, we know it was virtually no-occupancy most of his life, but he liked Richard Nixon, which is why he pardoned him (not just for flatuence). The late-President's soul, however, will be in-attendance within the husk of sitting-President George W. Bush/Richard Cheney. The transmigration is complete, so keep your hands-and-feet away from the President, please--dear God, please. I mean it. They're not taking-any-chances with Jerry this-time, the catafalque will be surrounded by those thick concrete-barriers used to thwart terrorists in-front of the White House. The military guard are expecting anything, the coffin could levitate, and slam through a barrier, so anti-missile missiles will be on-standby-standby. All attendees are required to wear steel-toed boots and body armor.