EX-PASTOR TED HAGGARD: "I'M NOT GAY."

BIZARROWORLD--Listen Ted, I don't come to your workplace and slap the Cheney out of your mouth, so why do you gotta insult my intelligence? Here's the time-line: "I'm not gay" (except when a male-hustler...you know), then "I'm gay", then "I'm not gay." He's gay, so what? He likes meth-amphetamine with his gay-sex--his business, but now it's everyone's business since he was living a lie. Power, the most-addictive drug there is, and he's experiencing withdrawal (if-only our troops were...). Him Ted Haggard, him not gay, but him sinner. Four-legs (on-the-floor) bad, two-legs good. Welcome to America, better than a carnival. Welcome to the monkey house.