George W. Bush's lame duck rendition of "We Are the Champions"

I've paid my dues - [REDACTED]

Time after time -

I've tried forming a correct sentence

But committed no grammatical crime [REDACTED]

And bad mistakes ["The biggest regret of all the presidency has to have been the intelligence failure in Iraq. I wish the intelligence had been different, I guess."]

I've made untold thousands ["I'm sorry about the economic crisis."]

I've had my share of Iraqi sand kicked in my face, but not nearly enough since Americans have no self-respect or balls. Why wouldn't you stop me? Please? Someone? Please?

But I've come through, with the help of a complicit Congress, press and business community
(And we mean to go on and on and on and on)

We are the [REDACTED]--my friends-

At least until the collapse and general strikes bring us to the end -

We are the champions -

You aren't the champions

No time for losers, not even the GOP

'Cause we are the champions - of the world - even if we aren't anymore.

I've taken my bows, and I'll drag you all straight to hell

And my curtain calls - they never rang my bell, or dingled my tingle.

You--my rich donors [NAMES REDACTED]--brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it, I thank you all - and now, so long suckers...

But it's been no bed of roses, 'cause roses gotts them thorns, I hear tell.

And it don't give me the same kicks as that "demon booze" -

I considered this administration a challenge against all the human race -

And I ain't gonna [REDACTED FOR NATIONAL SECURITY PURPOSES] -
(And we mean to go on and on and on and on, a boot in a human face for a thousand years...)

Neocons are the champions - my friends - until the real crash

And we'll keep on lying - till the end - even under oath

We are the champions -

You aren't the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions until someone with balls comes for us with the tar and the feathers we were born to be swathed in.

Please don't hurt me.

[Keep waiting for justice, we want you to.]

Songs from the Site Meter: Three guesses, and you win...jack-shit!

Site Meter--My guess is that it's either LA attorney Sam Deskin, someone from Orrick, or the inimitable Monique Rawlings, my former co-researcher with the Palfrey defense. Take-your-pick. Mine would be Rawlings, though it could even be that boorish, incomprehensible turd, Michael C. Moynihan (fuck you, asshole). What's in your wallet?

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GOP convention's closing music...

St. Paul, Minnesota--What was that music? It wasn't Aaron Copland. It wasn't George Gershwin. Was it John Williams? It wasn't good. It wasn't inspiring. It was boring, but at least it wasn't that dumbass Fleetwood Mac song the Clintons picked several-years-ago. Daft.

I know, I know. It wasn't like either party is going to pick something like Phil Ochs, Benjamin Britten's "War Requiem," or something inspiring like John Lennon's "Working Class Hero," or something from Woody Guthrie--that wouldn't kitschy and meaningless, like most life lived under the (not-so) New Fascism of consumerism.

But hey, it appears this order is dying anyway. Adam Smith's "The Wealth of Nations" states that all countries have their time at the top power-wise. That time is ending for America, and nothing can stop it. That doesn't mean it has to be a catastrophe either, yet if we keep fighting this reality that Smith wrote of, we'll ensure it. That's what the GOP's for--wrecking things in the service of the "big money." Why wouldn't they have shitty taste in music? So did Hitler. Ever try to sit-through an entire opera by Wagner? It's excruciating. Boring.

Suggestion: play the Three Stooges theme next time.

L.A.'s "Reason" magazine (who are they?) writes about...ME!

Los Angeles, the City of Raymond Chandler--It took Michael C. Moynihan (who's he?) just four-months to discover my article "English Accents and American Advertising," a piece primarily about the proliferation of the UK-accent in American advertising, and my take on why it's occurring. But instead, to Moynihan, it's about "how enraged" I am about my "intellectual isolation," and how Brits are invading the United States to buy things and misbehave...or something along-those-lines. Maybe. Thanks, Mike, you read my mind, and you know everything about my life and Indiana. Thanks.

Moynihan either forgot or willfully misrepresented the real message--the subtext--of my original article: that Americans have allowed themselves to be dumbed-down, and that even our politicians sound stupid when they talk. Listen to our current president and tell me with a straight-face that I'm wrong. For that matter, listen to almost any current incumbent holding office in these here U-ni-ted States attempting speech.

To Michael Moynihan, the run-up to the war in Iraq never happened, and former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld never called the EU "Old Europe," or that most of our diplomats have such bad diction that they're unable to effectively form the right words required to negotiate with their peers from other nations.

Look, I know that "I'm just jealous," and that someone who can barely write (Moynihan) probably draws more money from his so-called "writing" than I've ever made (or ever will), or that who his exact audience is is beyond my lowly working-class comprehension. But enough about his connections, or his ability to kiss executive/foundation asses. Mike should do the thinking for us. Never mind that the subtext of his piece, "Rant: Take Them Back to Dear Old Blighty-The ugliest byproduct of the sagging dollar," supports the thesis of my original piece in-spades, and please-please, do step over the victims of America--you might get those expensive Italian shoes soiled.

Who are you talking to Mike? Who is your audience? My uneducated guess would be well-off professionals like you, the trust fund kids and the silver spoon crowd whose job is to tell the rest of us how to think and how wonderful you all are. Shame, but at least your article is utterly incomprehensible.

One might assume--making an ass of you and me--that his piece angered me, but that would be wrong. I'm loving the irony, and the tiny bit of exposure it's brought to my humble little blog, "J to the Power of 7" (http://chickasawpicklesmell.blogspot.com), and the fact that it at least got him thinking for a few milliseconds. Cognitive dissonance hurts, I know. So, while all the comfortable people watch in horror as the economy they said shouldn't be regulated collapses for that very same reason, we can feel safe in the knowledge that Michael C. Moynihan...what does he feel?

I couldn't tell from his article, and couldn't locate a thesis. Maybe it's: "The British are coming! The British are coming!" Considering Moynihan's Irish-American, that might be measure of concern. Thanks for the laughs and the exposure, Mike, it felt good being quoted in the same paragraph as actor Val Kilmer (Brother Val, I agree!). And Mike, you're arch-neoconservative whether you know it or not. Go buy a tie, it looks better. But Mike and I have something in- common: nobody knows who we are, nor do they care.

"English Accents and American Advertising," 10.27.2007: http://chickasawpicklesmell.blogspot.com/2007/10/english-accents-and-american.html

Michael C. Moynihan's article at "Reason magazine" (April 2008 issue): http://reason.com/news/show/124935.html

Revised 07.02.2008