KARL ROVE ANNOUNCES HIS DECISION TO RESIGN

Washington D.C.--You can still be subpoenaed. Your kid is at college. You can still be pardoned, but the president had better save it for last.

You're a traitor, guilty of more crimes than Aaron Burr, or even Benedict Arnold--at least there was a smidgen of validity to their motives. We all know you're going to be running the RNC's campaign strategy for the 2008 elections. This is why we must watch your every move making your life extremely transparent.

The threat of prison will always be over your shoulder, it's coming...or is it? You'll never know, will you? Not until Federal Marshals come for you. Then, it'll be too late. It's funny how you Republicans use the same lame excuse when it's obvious you're about to be felled: "I need to spend time with my family."

Sure. You've been so attentive already. At least Joseph Goebbels had the common courtesy to kill himself.