Tuesday, November 20, 2007

President Bush Pardons One of His Own

"They're certainly better than the names the vice president suggested, which was 'lunch' and 'dinner [Ed.-And 'Leahy" and 'Go Fuck Yourself'].' "
--President George W. Bush today.


The White House
--Standing next to two turkeys (his aides), the Turkey-in-Chief pardoned his own kind: "That'll learn ya," said the president, patting the one called "May"on its posterior. The other turkey--not Bush or his father--was named "Flower," both receiving their official appellations by a poll. Mr. President had better save those pardons for a rainy day, and that day is coming ('WAR IS OVER-if you want it"). Was Benjamin Franklin telling us something when he said he wanted the turkey to be the national bird? The Turkeys still have problems with those wily Kurds, however, and insist on flocking into Northern Iraq--where they are subsequently caught, plucked, cooked, and eaten by the PKK with some local garnish. At least Larry Flynt could openly-admit he sexed a fowl. Do you know the difference between big wood and brush? Both of the turkeys are from Indiana, it's true. Since each is from Jasper, they could not possibly be Evan Bayh or Dick Lugar (maybe Barbara Boxer, since she won't investigate David Vitter for some strange reason, but that's a bird of a different defense complex feather). The number three: that's odd, but we'll all Sunday go ta' meetin' anyways.