Monday, November 12, 2007

DNA TEST CONFIRMS...CONFIRMS?! GIPPER HAD NO CHILDREN

Notre Dame, Indiana--Who cares? Someone who was afraid the trademark was in jeopardy. The once great football team is no more, maybe next year. Alright, I don't really care, but there it is. He didn't have a kid. He also died before he could graduate. Ronald Reagan did a bad job playing him, and I don't even know what he was like. But that's because Reagan couldn't have played himself well, and didn't when he sneaked into the White House thanks to voter apathy. Thanks Roger Aisles, thanks Bohemian Grove. Notre Dame had him speak at a commencement during the 80s. Why didn't they just costume him up as the Devil and kiss his ass? Thanks for having Ronnie here, attempting human speech at Notre Dame, and fuck you for embarrassing me. Mr. Wall, tear down this Gorbachev. If only I could have visited the Reagan Library and gotten an ashtray or a jellybean--they say the security there's lax folks, so go get a piece of what you paid-for (and still are).

My stepmother accidentally bumped right into him once in an area that the Secret Service had cordoned-off...but neglected to get her out of. He wasn't worth shooting anyway, and Hinckley made very poor--American made--dum-dum slugs. Besides, all it would have accomplished was to make George H.W. Bush president earlier--but we won't dwell on that. Also, I need to say a very special 'fuck you' to Bethel College, who had George W. Bush speak here in 2004 to prop-up local Rep. Chris Chocola--he lost, even after the GOP stole the elections again. We didn't need either of them--Reagan or George W. Bush--coming here to remind me I'm surrounded by wrong-headed assholes, rednecks, and morons. Chris Chocola: how's the private sector working-out? Good-riddance to you, asshole.

Robert Blakey who mishandled the House Assassinations Committee during the late-1970s teaches law at Notre Dame, rah-rah. That was good-thinking: appoint a Republican attorney to oversee the investigations into the assassinations of a Democratic President (JFK), his brother (RFK), & Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. . Great idea, then reward him with a post running N.D. 's (Napalm Death) law department...wait, that kinda sucks. Why not Harvard? He must not be an Alan Dershowitz, but neither is the real guy either. I'm part-Irish on my mother's mother's side (make sense?), was baptized Catholic, and I still think Notre Dame's campus resembles a metastasizing tumor that fell off of the Vatican's undying-ass. The Gipper died young. When Notre Dame's acolytes aren't phoning-in death-threats to muckraking writers coming to do book-signings in Michiana, or threatening property-owners likewise, they're making money hand-over-fist. South Bend gets the crumbs. With such a shitty team, there's going to be fewer-crumbs, especially for the scalpers.

In the 1980s, Notre Dame was a quaint little campus with some interesting history. I loved walking through the campus during the Summer at night, it was so peaceful. You couldn't do that today, that time is gone forever. Now, it just appears to be a big pile of bullshit where mafia kids and the zombie-rich's progeny can go to have too much homework, cry from the stress, and die of alcohol-poisoning (and call locals Blacks 'nigger,' resulting in their being shot in the face). That'll learn ya.' Maybe not. Yes, it was always a place that welcomed hypocrisy, but it's transcended that now. Thanks for fucking-up my country, Ronald Reagan--and all the dumb assholes who think you anything but a shill, a washed-up pseudo-actor and athlete, and a whore from Illinois with no brains. You should have stayed a lifeguard, you were qualified to be that, and only that. And 'Rudy' sucked, I could tell you stories about the real guy that aren't flattering. Notre Dame is America, and it looks flabby and corrupt.