Monday, June 04, 2007


"Have you had a sexual encounter with a current member of the United States Congress or a high-ranking government official? ...Can you provide documented evidence of illicit sexual or intimate relations with a congressperson, senator or other prominent officeholder?" --from Larry Flynt's full-page ad in Sunday's Washington Post.

wArSHINtUhN--He's got a hard-on...except it's pneumatic. But he definitely has one for someone who's serving (an oxymoron in D.C.) in Congress now. The question is: who? It has to be a big fish, someone with an almost unimpeachable (pun-intended), but his targets tend to be Republicans. Well, that could be almost the entire sitting incumbency of the GOP, Larry, creepin' Christ. The call was a full-page advertisement in Sunday's Washington Post, so he's very-very serious about this, and so am I.

Now, granted, as hard as it may be to believe, politicians are people too, and they have needs--OK, scratch that, they have WANTS. Many of them want sex with women, that eternal object of desire (and frustration, which is why they're seeing prostitutes). Besides, when one has sex, you want the option of them going-away. Look, Flynt wasn't shot by a liberal in 1978--it was a right-winger, and he knows it just like everyone else. You have to admire his tenacity. From the moment he was shot, this writer believes he decided at that point to attack the right, and defend the First amendment to the Constitution of the United States. Don't believe me?

Mr Flynt, who over the last 30 years has tried to use his pornography empire as a platform to campaign for free speech, is no stranger to the ways of Washington. Yesterday's ad marks the second time in a decade that he has dredged Washington in search of scandal. In 1998, at the height of the campaign to impeach Bill Clinton for lying about his affair with Monica Lewinsky, Mr Flynt ran a similar ad in the Post. Then as now, Mr Flynt was a sworn enemy of the Republican party. In his last set of ads, he sought to dig up dirt on the Republican members of Congress who were leading the impeachment campaign against President Clinton. (Guardian, 06.04.2007)

If you think it was because he liked Bill Clinton, you're mistaken, this is a long-term vendetta, and one that I--and millions--applaud. Is Flynt a saint? Hardly, but he has the power and the resources to make the powerful and their representatives in Congress hurt. He knows where they live, he knows what they crave, and he knows most of them are lying hypocrites who could be caught by a flat-footed cop on his day off.

It's just that he--and everyone with a clue--knows that the mainstream media is protecting the lackeys in Congress and appointment positions heading various departments. Being a venal, greedy, tyrannous society, he knows that $1 million is a pretty good inducement for most whores. America is a puritanical nation, and Flynt knows it better than most. What makes a person into a hypocrite, a liar, and an adulterer? Why, having a father or mother--or both--who beats-the-shit out you, and lies a lot. Burton's dad was a corrupt cop who abused his family, so it seems he learned a few lessons from dad. He had this to say in September of 1998, when Flynt and others exposed his affair:

REP. DAN BURTON: This is something that happened a long time ago. And my wife and my family has been aware of this for a long time. I have accepted my responsibilities a long time ago. The boy and the mother and my wife and my family and I have all reached an agreement about this a long time ago.


REP. DAN BURTON: The reason I chose to go ahead and come forward with this is because some members of the media – and I won't tell which ones of you – have been harassing this family and the boy. (, transcript, 09.08.1998)

Why does this guy keep referring to his child as "the boy," "this boy," etc. ? How pathetic, but predictable. Burton and his GOP-peers in Congress must have some affective disorder (no feelings), which allows them to shaft the poor and everyone else. Having been poor, it's unsurprising that he would betray other poor people--that's part of the gig of being a Hustler.

But if Flynt knows anything, it's that he instinctively knows that those who are the loudest critics of pornography, pedophilia, homosexuality, abortion, violent-sex, bigamy (and big of you too!), promiscuity, and sexual-openness, are usually the most sexually-perverted members of our society who engage in it. They're his readers ferchrissake. Do any of those congressional pages get money for outing Mark Foley? They should, they put-up with a lot from those Republicans. But they weren't paid, just molested, nothing much.

But then, so have we all. It's a good thing they have powerful friends. Read your Suetonius, none of this is new. Human beings crave sex and intimacy, it's eternal, and these tendencies exist in Washington D.C. in-spades. Maybe Dan Burton's old mistress can collect. She can prove it, too, a simple DNA-test on their kid would clear it all up. Flynt outed Burton, and he has my thanks for as long as I draw breath on this rock suspended in the abyss. Ladies: this is your fault, quit making so many babies and raising them poorly, they don't behave. Show us the pink, Larry. Then, there's Ken Calverted, so perverted. The list is almost endless.

The Guardian Today:,,2094699,00.html

PBS, 09.08.1998:

Dan Burton and CLAUDI KELLER:

Ken Calvert, "john":