Joe the plumber™ (really Sam, but "Joe" sounds more iconic) to be 10-day war correspondent in Israel-Gaza conflict

The Gaza Strip, Palestine--It would be a damn shame if he was killed by "friendly fire," a damn shame. The plumbers' unions of Toledo would hang the flags at half-mast for weeks, honoring a scab who had that hint of charm so often found in retarded people. Oh sure, he's Ernie Pyle, only he comes of like Mr. Clean™ running on two brain cells--and Joe the Plumber is a fictional character.

Oh yeah: Russia has stopped all natural gas shipments via-pipelines through the Ukraine to Europe. Just thought I'd mention it, since the press doesn't think it very important. Please, make Sam Wurtzelbacher head of the RNC, I want to see the GOP collapse faster.

A message to Hamas: aim for the head, then the wallet.