"Fellow critic hits [Roger] Ebert during film festival"

Toronto, Canada--Hey...I thought Gene Siskel was dead! It was dark, nobody could see exactly what was going on, then this guy who looked liked Lon Chaney came in and bum-rushed porky, and--POOF! He was gone.

What's going on here?! Fuck me! What's next? People yelling "Ewige blumenkraft!" in the streets of Toronto again, Jesus. And we all know that they'll be congregating in Kensington market, yeah. Game over man, we're not putting her in-charge, eh!

Siskel once called for the banning of director William Lustig's "Maniac" (1980), which was a no-no for a critic. He and Ebert frequently came very close to fistfights during their PBS program that nobody remembers anymore. And now, dear God in heaven, something has come back for revenge in the streets and theaters of Toronto. No, not the hookers. Something worse...

There is a shadow descending on Ontario, and it's a congenial spirit, eh. You should visit it sometime, really. The Chinese food in London is O-Kee, but the peeps run drinking games when they watch "House" ("Hoose"). But somebody had to make Ebert pay (again) for slamming "Brown Bunny." Get real, it was Vincent Gallo, and I applaud him, great film.