Monday, September 01, 2008

An Open Letter to GOP Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin


Gee-Oh-P--It appears that you had no problem--or is it idea?--that your daughter was having premarital-sex, so I have to ask you this: did you sign a letter-of-consent, or are your going to go after the father of your daughter's child? Nah, it looks like it's shotgun wedding time. By the way, she's cute (WINK-WINK, NUDGE-NUDGE). Welcome to real world politics, by the way.

Yeah, OK, I've heard she's gonna marry this little twit, but did you ever stop to think that she did this on-purpose because she thinks you're an asshole? How many teenagers would love to be in her shoes, having the capacity to totally screw-things-up for a parent whom they think is full-of-shit (all teenagers do, the majority of them are right).

Again: did the boy have a signed-note? Of course your youngest isn't hers, the child has down's syndrome which usually comes from a woman having a child too-late in life.

And don't think we don't know you've been in-tight (pun intended) with the accused Ted Stevens, that other crook from Alaska. The remainder of the functional press is digging deeply into your life, talking with everyone you ever screwed-over, all your past comments you should have kept to yourself but had to say in-front of journalists and enemies, and-then-some.

The picture--I predict--will not be a pretty one. That's gonna leave that shell-shocked McCain in a real pickle if enough hammers drop. Luck? You're gonna need it lady, and that's not even bringing "troopergate"into the picture. You were a cheerleader, right? Correct, women can be fascists too.

yours-in-Christ, Matt Janovic