Monday, December 01, 2008

George W. Bush's lame duck rendition of "We Are the Champions"


I've paid my dues - [REDACTED]

Time after time -


I've tried forming a correct sentence


But committed no grammatical crime [REDACTED]


And bad mistakes ["The biggest regret of all the presidency has to have been the intelligence failure in Iraq. I wish the intelligence had been different, I guess."]


I've made untold thousands ["I'm sorry about the economic crisis."]


I've had my share of Iraqi sand kicked in my face, but not nearly enough since Americans have no self-respect or balls.
Why wouldn't you stop me? Please? Someone? Please?

But I've come through, with the help of a complicit Congress, press and business community

(And we mean to go on and on and on and on)

We are the [REDACTED]--my friends-

At least until the collapse and general strikes bring us to the end -


We are the champions -


You aren't the champions


No time for losers, not even the GOP


'Cause we are the champions - of the world - even if we aren't anymore.


I've taken my bows, and I'll drag you all straight to hell

And my curtain calls - they never rang my bell, or dingled my tingle.


You--my rich donors [NAMES REDACTED]--brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it,
I thank you all - and now, so long suckers...

But it's been no bed of roses, 'cause roses gotts them thorns, I hear tell.

And it don't give me the same kicks as that "demon booze" -


I considered this administration a challenge against all the human race -


And I ain't gonna [REDACTED FOR NATIONAL SECURITY PURPOSES] -

(And we mean to go on and on and on and on, a boot in a human face for a thousand years...)

Neocons are the champions - my friends - until the real crash

And we'll keep on lying - till the end -
even under oath

We are the champions -


You aren't the champions


No time for losers


'Cause we are the champions until someone with balls comes for us with the tar and the feathers we were born to be swathed in.

Please don't hurt me.

[Keep waiting for justice, we want you to.]