Still true...

You're never gonna see a dude, dudette, or anyone, walk into a party with a big bag of pot, and suddenly, yes, instantly, they all flock/sashay ostentatiously to that person/dude, dude(tte)s. Never. Unicorn time. Didn't happen, anywhere.

Gimp of the Perverse II: Will the real Jack Burkman please stand up?

Ed.--I got an interesting comment from someone purporting to be a former girlfriend of Mr. Burkman. This one's juicier than the rest, but it corresponds to other communications I've received about him from others sources who I am certain did date him at one point. This comment--from October as OWS was gestating--went unmoderated for some time, I wasn't paying attention with the editing/revising work on the DC Madam account.

All the breaks are original, no edits, as with the others:

October 2011 comment: http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=32294008&postID=6232334077798997076

I dated Jack for a considerable amount of time, and can say without a doubt, the man has SEVERE issues when it comes to women.

With respect to his dearly departed Mommie Dearest, Jack sure loves to have a daily chat with her in his mirror. At first, I thought it was a joke before recognizing that he considers it a "real" discussion. Thankfully, Mother gave her blessing for our relationship *shudder*

He believes that ALL women are whores and out to "get his money", yet he likes to buy his way into your life. And thus, Jack attends church in Tyson's Corner almost every weekend, in a laughable attempt to cleanse himself of his sins.

What would those be?!

Oh gosh golly gee, Jack likes to think of himself as a VERY dirty birdy.

Forget the DC Madam scandal---I'm astonished that no one has posted about his frequent trips to the Spearmint Rhino or the Red Rooster in Las Vegas!

Essentially, Jack must feel in complete control of his romantic relationships:

1) He needs a woman who will stimulate him intellectually. Bonus points if she can banter about about the declining moral fiber of America, and constantly praise his efforts to educate people about strong family values.

2) He insists "his" woman act as arm candy at the many DC hotel bars he frequents BUT you're forbidden from directly speaking to any other men... including bartenders, bellmen OR cab drivers.

3) He will withhold sex because he loves you (Madonna), yet he'll ask if it would be okay if he can satisfy his needs elsewhere (Whore). And you're possessed by the Devil himself if you even think about masturbating! haha

He has many great attributes, which is why I accepted most of the flaws. It was only after he threatened me physically that I called it quits, and severed all contact.

Oddly enough, Jack's brother is normal. Last I heard, he was a physician in Seattle.

A note to the lady in question: I would like to discuss more of this with you. Feel free to contact me at the email address on my profile. I will honor your wishes for confidentiality.

Do it for Karl Marx baby, do it for Bakunin...

“You make me feel like Emma Goldman with all of your ratiocinations! Dialectical materialism never felt so good, and I don’t even understand it, but it’s time, it’s time!” she purred.

"That's OK, he said with the copyrighted voice of authority, "I don't either, and neither do any of the readers out there." Their radical studies sessions had gone on for months and months and it was becoming clear that a very hot, sweaty, wet, and prolonged Hegelian synthesis was inevitable. Their vent worm ancestors smiled.

He grabbed her by her long, flowing hair, stroked her swan-like neck, and caressed her fulsome breasts: “Look—woman—Marxist-Leninist forced production never made for a worker’s paradise! What difference is there between Taylorist assembly-lines in the West and the moldering Taylorist factories of the former Soviet Union?” She looked up at him with her saucer-eyes and their daffodil-eyelashes, all coy and childlike, and could have been the French symbol for Liberty.

It could have been the very first time a woman gazed at a lover in adoration, and he returned it with the very same passion. Her gaze was so innocent--but focused--with constructive intent rather than the predictable power play found in human social groupings. She grabbed him and held him in the palm of her hand like all good comrades do. His excitement rose and he thought his heart would rip out of his chest and his face went flush. Beads of perspiration instantaneously formed on his brow. Revolution never felt so good, at least not since 1968 when the fluids were flying over the barricades.

“Women’s lives have been circumscribed by confining gender-roles and have only been truly able to join the fight in recent times, the last one hundred years. But women have been and embody an even greater dialectical potential for constructive subversion of hierarchy.” He smiled at that, and moved his hand towards her venus mounds, gently caressing her and stroking her back at the same time. She shivered and giggled, purred again.

“Give it up for Bakunin baby, give it up for Marx, haw-haw-haw!” chortled the thirty-something leftist to his radical studies partner. It all began with books, but like the rest of life, it ended in fucking.

“Now give it to me like a fucking man!” she screamed, and they dropped all their books for a time, all the bound-essays, and returned to the Garden, like children, like glorious children. Could this be? Could a relationship without an alpha, without a leader, a peaceful coexistence, compete in a market driven world? The revolution had begun, under cover of night, and things would never be the same.

The Northwest flight tard who blew his balls off (blues)

It seemed poetic, didn't it? The ruins of Detroit and the rest of America now needed to be protected once again from rich Nigerian tards with a screw loose (definitely not Fela Kuti material) and Gulf state professionals (easily indoctrinated with a middle-class education), and this would then require things like a "Department of Homeland Security for the Department of Homeland Security," it being that corrupt and worthless government institution created by "anti-government conservatives" inspired by the laughably sad likes of Grover Norquist. Thanks for the inaction with FEMA during Katrina. Point taken: government doesn't work...when you're in charge.

Yes, Washington D.C. really is Hollywood for ugly, stupid weaklings, and a more byzantine route to sex hasn't existed since the Mandarins. It's called "dysfunctional" for reason.

We're told with a straight face by Republicans, pundits (usually the same thing), and even the White House, that this is all serious when it's not. There's nothing serious or even remotely threatening about a retard blowing his balls off on a crowded airliner. This is all that he accomplished. This is the threat of terrorism, creole bourgeois extremists. That's not a very real threat at all. The real threat is how compromised our elected leaders--a euphemism--are to the paymasters in Saudi Arabia and other Persian Gulf states. This is that infinitesimal chance that you'll slip in the shower and break your neck. This is the fear of one's shadow, the time of the hollow men. They will build palaces to this stupidity and this fear that will stand less than a generation, because you can't build a solid foundation on quivering shit.

To be afraid of a gaggle of clowns; to hand over any rights whatsoever over this; to think that the threat of terrorism is especially great and will affect you; is madness. The threat--I repeat--the threat is not real, and the war on terror is theater. No, I don't think this was "planned"--once again, like the events of September 11th, 2001, this is one more case of profound bureaucratic incompetence, piled one-upon-another and opportunism after-the-fact. I repeat: this is not a confirmation that government does not work. It's a confirmation that conservatives and corporatist influence within government do not work, and can never work to protect us or even to provide a livable society. In other words, any State-corporate nexus is the problem, and this comes from the revolving-door of appointees from the corporate world, something this current president has done plenty of, just like the last. Why would he fire all these Bush II appointees when he's the same? Quit fooling yourself.

But if stupid young men blowing their balls off scares you enough to hand over your liberty, you don't deserve any. If you allow the herd to stampede us there without a fight, you don't deserve any. Cowardice comes in many forms, and Americans do plenty of talking and no walking. I could take these bastards on any flight, any time, any day. I am not afraid. Cowards are afraid of their own shadow, and that's exactly what's happening in the American mind (or what's left of it) right now: we know our wars are illegal and immoral and that we have something coming to us. We know we are complicit. This is collective-guilt writ large. Did he blow off your balls, or his?

The "Why Women Have Sex" articles and the Save-your-life bra

WWW--Because they're horny? Both the Guardian and Newsweek have been writing puff pieces on some very unimportant books and studies on this, so it must have been a slow news week, meaning there are important stories to do a news white-out on. That means pulling a story out of your ass and wracking your brains to remember something from your High School science class, then wrapping it in a lot of inflated verbiage to keep your whorish, dumbass job at Newsweek to feed some equally banal lifestyle because you're entitled.

At the age of 41, I can honestly say that I don't give-a-shit why women have sex. It's usually obvious anyway, and probably akin to "Why do people itch themselves?" and "Why did so-and-so just sneeze?" I could go into scatological examples, but I'm sure at least 10% of my readership (and that's a magic number) already raced to them like me, and sadly, it's just as valid as these stupid articles that don't even rise above this or many other blog postings. You get a dumbbell system out of dumbbell people.

Has Newsweek ever heard of the Kinsey Institute here in pansexual Indiana? Indeed they had, feeling the need to cover their asses at the end of the piece and the gaping-maw of a fact that their article says nothing new and that the study they were covering is hardly epic-in-scope (1,000 online-participants) or even very scientific. In other words, like Michael Moore, they were telling us (and selling us) what we already knew. What turns women on? Sigmund Freud (who was right about far more than most feminists care to admit, hence why they quote him so much) couldn't figure it out, and neither can most women come down to it, not that I care. I should add that with more women employed right now, and with the economy in the shitter, feminism just doesn't resonate that strongly these days. "But why? Why do you women have sex?" they ask us, the readers, making me wonder what their informational role is. They should, especially the ladies, since one would assume they have all the answers to this burning, itching question.

It could be: Money; power over a mate in a relationship; ego-boosting; material items; that stunning posture and moves of the insensate and cocksure beefcake; a man in uniform; a woman in uniform; someone they feel "sorry" for (pity fucks); a well-told joke; the tie someone was wearing that day; someone's personality; a good day; a bad day; frustration; naivete; a confluence of events; a rush of hormones or drugs; a bad childhood; a good childhood--gimme a break. The most galling thing about the Newsweek piece is their offhand contention that most studies haven't ever asked women what makes women want to have sex. Again, didn't the Kinsey Institute cover that ground decades ago? Here's a suggestion: try doing actual research for your article before it goes to press. Women are people, and people are complicated and not easily quantified or understood by science.

More importantly, this week, a Ukrainian-born woman in Chicago invented a bra that can also act as a gas mask, something I consider both genius and uproariously funny. But...but, why did she invent it? Luckily, this won't require any grants or lab time:

Elena Bodnar, who lives in Chicago, got her start as a scientist in Ukraine, when she witnessed the devastating effects of the Chernobyl nuclear plant disaster in 1986. She noticed, among other things, that women were wearing bras that may have been lacy but were certainly not life-saving.

At the ceremony, Bodnar demonstrated her invention, which she said could have prevented people from breathing in Iodine-131 in the wake of Chernobyl. She graciously gave pink bras (each of which can turn into two gas masks) to actual Nobel laureates (yes, even the men, who now have the option to enjoy the bras without shame--not to mention any likely real effect--in the privacy of their own homes).

That's right, men can wear them too. Well yeah! What would the Kinsey Institute say about that one?

My real question is this: would it be appropriate for men with pot-tits to wear them in public, and where can I get a grant to study the phenomena?

"Introducing the bra that is meant to be taken off," CNET, 10.02.2009: http://news.cnet.com/8301-27083_3-10366730-247.html

An open call for information regarding GOP pundit, lobbyist, and attorney Jack Burkman

WWW--I am looking for a very specific piece of information: what was the phone number of J.M. Burkman & Associates in 2006? I already know what the address is but have been unable to locate the number from that time. It could very well be correct, but I get the impression that Mr. Burkman has been going around making threats all over the blogosphere.

Just in case you don't recall, Burkman was very closely involved in the witch-hunt to take down former President Bill Clinton for lying about getting some since painting him with the corruption brush just wasn't going to work when everyone's having the same fun in that arena, what with many of the same fingers in the same pots. Ironically, Palfrey and I argued over Clinton's innocence in the realm of corruption--I never agreed with her or conceded to her on it. Oddly, she would finally end up with Monica Lewinski's lawyer who I don't believe did a very good job defending her.

Around June 16, 2006, the website Wonkette reported on Burkman's alleged attempts at offering to pay two lesbians to have sex with him at a gay pride parade in DC. The two ladies "outed" Mr. Burkman on one of their Myspace pages, even putting a scan of the business card he allegedly gave to them and a partial account of the whole night:

...afterward, we got a snazzy hotel room at the mayflower downtown. on the way over there, this really hot business man in a pinstriped suit walked past me, said hello, and doubled back. he asked me my name and introduced himself (jack burkman, government relations strategies), asked where i went to school, etc, gave me his card, and asked me to call him. i later texted him and never could get rid of him again. he thought he talked to me on the phone several times, but he never did. i always made kat or kristin be me. he told kristin about how he really enjoyed my outfit (TITS GALORE) and that i was beautiful, etc. by the end of the night (5 am or so), he was offering to pay for our room and give us a thousand dollars if two of us would fuck him. oh, jack burkman. his card is my DC souvenir.

Burkman has been a strong advocate for the Family Research Council, one of those wacky family values organizations and was founded by the televangelist James Dobson.

Less than a month later, Citizens for Legitimate Government (who are they?) was claiming that Burkman was in the phone records of the DC Madam. Now, both articles at Wonkette (and many other progressive sites) on these two incidents of what might have been solicitation are gone, taken down, possibly since 2008. Other sites have pulled their articles on Burkman and one or the other of these two alleged scenarios. Wonkette and several of these sites have refused to reply to my questions on this issue. But Palfrey all-but-confirmed it was real at the time, as she recounted to blogger Margie Burns just a couple days after CLG released the name:

“Ms. Burns… FYI, this and any calls to the Washington area were business, i.e. escort service related.

–Sincerely, Jeane Palfrey” ("Ms. Palfrey confirms that Mr. Burkman's business with her was escort service related, 07.13.2007)

I was pretty close to the story and had never heard of his number being in the phone records and neither have several others close to the Palfrey case. What gives? What is this? There isn't one article that resoundingly impeaches the contention that Burkman was in Palfrey's phone records and not one mainstream press outlet picked it up at the time. What do you think?

Burkman responded clumsily in the third person--as megalomaniacs do--and included a double-negative in his statement that's not exactly reassuring regarding his innocence. A more toned down 2008 version of the statement is still on his personal website:

“BURKMAN RESPONDS:

Web allegations are simply and completely false, driven by a group of left-wing people seeking to intimidate conservatives and independants [sic].

As my viewers and readers know, I usually do not respond to silliness on the internet. But in this case--given the national and international coverage--I feel I must. The recent allegations concerning sollicitation [sic] are false lies. They have been printed and reprinted by websites with a long and intense history of harrassing [sic] me and trying to stop my commentary.

None of the sites even so much as contacted me for comment. But I can assure you that they will not succeed. My family and I have been through this before. During impeachment in the 90's, every form of illegitimate pressure that could be brought to bear was brought to bear in an attempt to silence me. But they failed and seven years later, my commentary continues unabated and unphased [sic]. And it always will.

Thank you for watching and reading.
- Jack Burkman”

Yeah, he's a real martyr for freedom alright, a regular Patrick Henry. He sure never was a speech writer, and he can barely write at all. I could be wrong, but wasn't Henry famous for saying, "Show me your tits, I'll pay"? Maybe this whole Burkman story was overshadowed by the Vitter revelation, but if it's true, what gives? Surely, Larry Flynt would have released his name had his PI Dan Moldea found it, but then, that doesn't fit their criteria at the time: they were looking for hypocritical office holders and Burkman is a lobbyist and talking neck with close ties to the GOP and sundry corporations due to his line of business.

So: if you have any letterhead or copies of J.M. & Associates, LLC business cards, I'd love to see them. Any information related to the aforementioned issue is being sought, and I can only offer you my thanks, that's it. What an arrogant little man.

"Ms. Palfrey confirms that Mr. Burkman's business with her was escort service related, Margie Burns.com, 07.13.2007: http://www.margieburns.com/blog/_archives/2007/7/13/3090733.html

Songs from the Site Meter: David Irving and Storm (ABBA Super) Troopers?

Site Meter--Their snuffling about from "old blighty" again. Could it be Mosleyite David Irving, former closet queen of Holocaust deniers? Who gives these assholes the money to do their non-Harlem globetrotting anyway? Sure, they actually sell a few books to squareheads like themselves, but that doesn't explain it all. They have some very wealthy backers, I'd wager. Still, they get to schtupp some fine, goyische punim.

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Meghan McCain: Dating tough after dad's campaign

A'murka--It seems that Ms. McCain--Senator McCain's daughter--has had some romance problems before, during, and since the elections. I'm not surprised, and concurr with her opinion that the libido dries-up whenever politics gets mentioned, a real mood killer. Well, duh.

She's got the goods, though, she's gonna be OK. I can feel it in my loins. The title contradicts the article, incidentally, something only achievable through a privileged education.

Hint to prospective beaus: act apathetic about politics and she's your'n.

"Looking for Mr. Far Right," The Daily Beast, 03.03.2009:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-03-02/looking-for-mr-far-right/

A Russian Finlandia Vodka ad from a old Prague Spring soldier

Ed.--This was forwarded to a friend of mine who lives in the Czech Republic--Brno to be exact--so much a citadel of computer hacking and pirating that many large tech-firms decided to hire them. My pal in Brno claims he was a signer of the Charter 77 Human Rights Statement to President Carter by Czech dissidents; we met in 1986, here in South Bend, we both worked at the same restaurant.

I have little reason to doubt him--he was kicked-out of Soviet dominated Czechoslovakia just months later. Lucky him. If you wonder what things are like in Russia right now, here's a little cultural artifact, a peek. I agree with the logic of the ad, as vulgar as it may be. It's just true, and it works. The bottom-text appears to be Czech. As anyone can tell, I created this ad, never mind the temerity of posting it here, at another internet location. The gall, I know.

"Girls & Corpses Magazine"

WWW--There was a "Girls and Guns" (really a parody in the Texas underground magazine "Thorazine"), which was right up my alley.

Anyway, they've been around three years, weirdly beginning as an Internet-based magazine and now moving onto the racks of grocery stores everywhere soon. It is what it is, but the corpses are not real--I repeat--the corpses are not real, but the girls are.

Founder/maniac Robert Steve Rhine has created a combination of MAXIM and...I don't know what, maybe postmortem medical texts? Wow. Sex and death: it don't get more profound than that, 'Bubba. Rhine's been writing horror-comedy stories for a long time, as well as the scripts for several comic books of the same type.

This magazine skewers just about everyone and everything in our boring, sexist (and dying, so it's apropos) consumer culture by its mere existence. "Girls and Corpses," mocking the mockery known as life. Wow.

Needless-to-say, someone's going to be offended, which is the best reason to do a magazine like this.

http://www.girlsandcorpses.com/

http://www.edgeincollection.com/

Dalai Lama states that "sex leads to trouble"

"I may now add that civilization is a process in the service of Eros, whose purpose is to combine single human individuals, and after that families, then races, peoples and nations, into one great unity, the unity of mankind. Why this has to happen, we do not know; the work of Eros is precisely this. These collections of men are to be libidinally bound to one another. Necessity alone, the advantages of work in common, will not hold them together. But man's natural aggressive instinct, the hostility of each against all and of all against each, opposes this programme of civilization. This aggressive instinct is the derivative and the main representative of the death instinct which we have found alongside of Eros and which shares world-dominion within it." --Sigmund Freud, Civilization and its Discontents, P. 119, 1930.


WWW--The Dalai Lama's right, you know. There's a gal who I see when I go out who's interested in me, and I think she's all that, cute, etc. . But I don't want any part of it. This isn't to say that I don't believe there are those magical folks among us who can handle love and intimacy, but they're a tiny minority of humanity who don't let it get to them and who can control themselves. It's also not because I don't want to see humanity perpetuate--it's that I know there are too many of us, and we're not all that.

The Lama stated some of the unholy truth this week:

Sexual pressure, sexual desire, actually I think is short period satisfaction and often, that leads to more complication. ...[There] are too [many] ups and downs. ...Naturally as a human being ... some kind of desire for sex comes, but then you use human intelligence to make [the] comprehension that those couples [are] always full of trouble. And in some cases there is suicide [and] murder cases. (AFP, 11.28.2008)

What? The Buddhists are cynics? Uh, yeah, that's a big part of Buddhism, a renunciation of this world. Most Buddhists view the world as being a place of futility, a trap for the soul, something very transitory, and brimming with evil. Correct, and it's how I view the world. Are all relationships futile? No, I don't believe this. But it's close, very close to being that way given the predictability of people's behavior in a relationship.

Freud was right once again. Sex binds us, even when it shouldn't. There would be no point whatsoever to any of this without some carrots (go wild with the symbolism of that, I know you will). The most horrible truth is that when one partner loves another more than the other, they're the inevitable victim in the equation. Almost no one is capable of coping with the responsibility of someone who loves you more than you love them. Being a restless species, we try perversely to make things worse. Not content to leave intimacy despoiled, we inject crass materialism into-the-mix, then blame each other when we fail to meet our mutual expectations.

The worst aspects of humanity have been nurtured under the capitalist order we've all inhabited in our lives, not that it's the only system or order to ruin love and sex. Women in West are especially guilty of promoting this convenient commercialism, wrapped-up as it were in "gifts" that are a mandatory prerequisite for things to be "romantic." Even worse is the female-fixation on the blustering mate who shows constant certainty that they have "things under control," the "Mr. Fix-it" syndrome, when they most definitely have nothing under control.

"Lie to me," she said, "Tell me what I want to hear, not the truth, not ever."

"If you insist," he said. You could just as easily rearrange the genders here, it doesn't matter. We just want to get laid. Men, women, regardless of sexual orientation or how raging our libidos might be. At some point, the flesh needs servicing, empty notions of "romance" aside. Lies are crucial in a culture where the lines between instinct and the repressive conditioning of civilization have blurred.

Self-interest and false sentimentality have been used to keep us buying garbage we never wanted or needed, distracting us away from what's important--each other. We bought it, literally. The Lama goes further than I ever would, Buddhism not being an entirely "humanist" religion and philosophy. He says that we shouldn't get too attached to anyone--not even our loved ones or our children.

This is where I would draw-the-line, and I believe we all need focus on empathy towards others.

There are many sects of Buddhism, so you can tell that they don't agree on such issues either. Yet, he's right about sex. That spells trouble and the over-complication of our lives, it means unnecessary drama and irrational compromise. Men and women are going to have to live separately for a long time before we're all ready for sustainable cohabitation...if that's even possible or desirable.

Hats go off to the lucky few who've already achieved it.

The basic difference between the East and the West is geographical location. The cultural sources are the same. Men and women--and individuals-in-general--are much farther apart than mere cultures in the modern world.

Freud was also right that we're always going to be in conflict with our animal side. Sometimes, a cigar really is just a cigar (why do some feminists use Freudian imagery so much?)...and you can keep it anyway. "Let's do it" might be about the most intellectually and morally honest greeting, but honesty is the last thing anyone cares about. It's enough to turn anyone off. Trouble? Brother, you don't know the meaning of "trouble."

"Daddy wants to fuck," by The Uncredible Duke

Ed.--Good to see you back, Duke! Ladies, you can never be "one of the guys." We know it hurts, so just get over it, will ya? That's the point. Jesus. ;0)

Okay, so I promised to tell you this story. I hope it isn't too boring. This goes back to my days at Ball State University. I was always too smart for my own good, and not half as smart as I thought I was. I still am sometimes, but I'm trying a little harder to keep it in-check. I lived in an apartment with three other guys, and we were all very bohemian.

We wore black leather motorcycle jackets, even though none of us drove motorcycles. We were all intellectuals. But we were all sort of "bullyish" too. We didn't go around threatening people, but people THOUGHT we did. And we didn't really terrorize too many people, it was all just a pose, really. We were bullies in one respect: we were intellectual bullies. We were conversational bullies, if that makes any sense, and we loved to be shocking. We'd do things that would get reactions out of people.

So that's the first part of the story.

The next part is... I stopped buying text books about my third year of college. I was hitting the old man up of cash for text books one day, and he said, "I never had any of the books when I was in college. I just paid attention." And then I thought about it. The truth was, in my first two years of university, I had always BOUGHT the books. But, like Dad, I paid attention in class, and I never really used the books. (Note, I was a communications major, and liberal arts aren't all "facty" like science and medical fields), I had discovered that the Ball State Library had most of our textbooks in regular rotation, AND if you got there early enough you could just check the dang thing out for the semester. So I did this in classes which I absolutely needed the book. This leads us to...

Film Genres 301 (or some such) taught by Wes Goering. Goering was very odd. [Ed.--And he had an unfortunate last-name. Why do I think he was ugly as well?] In his late forties or early- fifties at the time. He had written a couple of books about the Marx Brothers, and he sort of resembled Groucho, but in a more Germanic sort of way. You would think he would be really wacky, but he was very very square. Or at least so eccentric as to come-off as being very square. A very "just the facts, ma'am." sort of professor, although he would utter a profanity from time to time. [Ed.--You gotta give him credit for this.]

Well, old Wes had produced and edited the textbook for Film Genres. He wrote the chapter on screwball comedies, and he had other people write the other chapters, but he was getting most of the cash. The college book stores sell used text-books, but only if they get permission from the author or a publisher. Guess who wouldn't give them permission? WES! AND it was the most expensive book I ever had for any of my classes. AND he made sure that the library's copy was reference-only and could not be checked out. [Ed.--I would have made 1,000-copies and distributed them to everyone with a pulse. Thank God for the internet--all I'm sayin.'] Whenever we would have a writing assignment, his only criticism of my work was always, "I would have liked to see more reference to the text." [Ed.--Right, HIS dumbass book. Why didn't this asshole marry himself?!] YEAH! Because I don't HAVE the text.

So we have to choose a film, and write a paper describing it the terms of a film genre. It didn't have to be something that was strictly, say, a western, or a horror. It just had to cross over into that genre enough for your analysis.

I chose to write about Blue Velvet, as a dark comedy. My paper was entitled "Daddy Wants to Fuck!" I got a C+, and got comments like "would've liked to see more from the text" and "I'm not really sure this fits."

I don't know if you've seen Blue Velvet. But it is somewhat disturbing. In fact, some find it very disturbing. It's...I guess you'd call it a psychological thriller. But here I was writing about how funny it is, throwing the f-word around fairly freely. I'm pretty certain Wes looked at me a little differently from then on. But I still think it's funny, especially the looks on the faces of my classmates when they saw the title of the paper I was turning in--AND the looks on their faces when they saw the graded paper returned. LOL

RNC delegate sees whore, is robbed of $50,000, then whines to the police and press, both of whom take the bait...

Minneapolis, Minnesota--This must be why they're downsizing all these newspapers lately (as well as creating these kinds of stories as a result of no support-staff).

Do I think his story is straight? Nope. What it has is the appearance of a dorky Republican attorney who tried to get laid with a hooker, was ripped-off, and then concocted some dumb story to cover his ass so he could report the theft.

El cheap-a-dora:

The delegate gave police a detailed description, but investigators had no suspects, Palmer said. He stressed that investigators don't believe Schwartz did anything wrong.

"It's embarrassing to admit that I was a target of a crime," Schwartz said in a statement Tuesday. "I was drugged and had about $50,000 of personal items stolen."("Tryst turns in $50K robbery for RNC delegate, AP, 09.16.2008)

And it's also embarrassing to be caught having sex with a woman for money while intoxicated, because that's the only reason any of them ever would have had it with a schlubb like Schwartz anyway. Why the hell would it be embarrassing to "admit [you] were the target of a crime"?! Because he had to pay for sex, then to add-insult-to-injury to his monolithic but equally-fragile ego, he was finally ripped-off by a hooker. You're just jealous. It's true, I am. Wouldn't you be?

The story is utter crap and Schwarz is lying. He was drugged alright--by his member, and possibly a toot. But if some lady of the night actually did this to a Republican Party delegate, good show, they've got it coming from prostitutes this year and from everyone else. Somehow, somewhere, Deborah Jeane Palfrey has gotten her tiny piece of revenge in another woman. Who needs reincarnation when we keep making the same stupid mistakes over-and-over again? Why bother? I tip my hat to the woman in the story--if she exists--and I wish her well. With luck, Schwartz won't be able to write it off on his taxes, the stupid schmuck.

It's good to see that the Minneapolis Police Department has calmed down enough from their police riots against war protesters to investigate something as important as this. Their indefatigable will to protect the incredibly unpopular couldn't be more American, just not in a good way, and they went too far as American policemen have traditionally done. Don't spend it in one place, lady, but spend it soon, before it's devalued again. So much for Minnesota nice, it's officially dead.

"Tryst turns in $50K robbery for RNC delegate, AP, 09.16.2008: http://enews.earthlink.net/article/nat?guid=20080916/48cf2f40_3ca6_1552620080916-725458355

From the Blough family vaults: A dirty postcard to a mistress

Kansas, 1907--It seems my great-great grandfather liked to screw-around on his wife. This is close to 101-years-ago, when the dead are scarcely a memory any longer. If you want an idea of how much you're going to be remembered--if at all--this is a good lesson.

But be wise, dear friend, and be sure to destroy all of the physical evidence that might fall into the wrong hands of, say...a historian. Then, they, your descendants and others in the future, could accidentally discover what a fool, a coward, and a scoundrel you were. One ancestor forgot to burn a pile of his post card collection, the majority-of-which were written to his mistress. Oh, it was a very different America, and yet the it's still the same. There was Populism them with all its own internal-contradictions just as there is today. Some of my ancestors were prairie Populists.

As far as I can tell from the accounts, my great-great grandfather was a very wrong-headed small businessman who owned a hotel for a time. It burned-down around the time of this card. A petty bourgeois, some of the worst among us, and I believe his own father was a barber and leather-worker in the Old West. Since the Revolutionary War, some of the Bloughs have worked closely with horses, and we're a vast surname. I have my great-great-great grandfather's Old West Bible. You have to wonder whose hair he cut during his time living in 19th century Kansas. He died in the 1890s of poor health, possibly tuberculosis or pneumonia.

On December 25th, 1907, his mistress felt it important to mail him saying that her ride on the railways had gone well. Wonderful, at least they were satisfied, though I doubt Mrs. Blough was. If you think everything nowadays is new, unique, and that you're the first person to have sex...you must be under the age of 30. That's right kids, you're not the first people to discover illicit-fucking, I hate breaking it to you. Most of you are as boring as you suspect, so try to work on that one. Your parents are full-of-shit too, so why imitate them so much?

My point is, I reject a lot of things in my family history. Many people do, or like to think that they do. I'm not mistaken in my assertions, but all Americans of every color harbor bigotry and racist conditioning, it's inherent to our culture.

While these lily-white slobs were playing house, thousands of Native Americans were being herded into the reservations, thousands were being forcibly-sterilized for being "different" or troubled, millions of workers were being exploited and flogged like slaves, while blacks were being lynched from the highest-trees and still worked as slaves when they weren't being hounded under vagrancy laws; and while our military was slaughtering untold thousands of Filipinos, these ancestors--not the mistress--of mine were screwing in their ignorance. Such are the lives of the middle class.

It's a funny little card from an unfunny little era, not so different from our own. It was yesterday, and I reject the racism and the hypocrisies of that time and this era. Why is reincarnation necessary at all?

Postscript, 09.18.2008: There are what appear to be remnants of writing along the left-margin of the postcard. Yes, some of them are stains from deterioration, very perceptive. I'm guessing it's a reference to the spurned- wife.

The Interior Dept. Sex-for-Contracts Scandal: Standard Operating Procedure?

Denver,Colorado/Washington D.C.--From where I'm standing, especially looking at some of my own research into the subpoenaed Verizon records from the Palfrey defense, I'd say yes. The morons involved in this scandal handle the royalites--in-the-billions--of drilling and mining operations on public lands. That means our lands, the public's.

The alleged transgressions involve 13 former and current Interior Department employees in Denver and Washington. Their alleged improprieties include rigging contracts, working part-time as private oil consultants, and having sexual relationships with - and accepting golf and ski trips and dinners from - oil company employees, according to three reports released Wednesday by the Interior Department's inspector general. ("Sex, drugs, and oil," AP, 09.10.2008)

It only went on for several years, and the investigation only took two years after the Interior Dept. employee called it in. Oh yeah, and the GOP-controlled Justice Department refuses to prosecute some of the players.

It seems this is what the GOP means when they obsess over "drilling." Who said it had to be exclusively "offshore" anyway? The names of everyone involved should be published on billboards everywhere, and the next administration should prosecute every single one of them. Why not? The Justice Department did it to every woman they could rook in from the DC Madam's escort service.

Nobody cared about their dignity--it should be significantly less-so with these betrayers of the public's trust...or is it tryst? Considering that these individuals were soliciting sex-for-contracts, why no RICO charges as with Ms. Palfrey? I think we all know the reasons why, writ large in the coverage. The IAG's report cites 28 year (when Ronald Reagan and his Interior Secretary James Watt oozed into office) veteran and head of the Denver MMS (Mineral Management Service) office, one Gregory W. Smith as a major offender, having sex with subordinates, and the one the Justice Department refuses to prosecute. Why? Perhaps because if he started blabbing, we'd start hearing tales of bipartisan corruption surrounding the activities of his office. Don't expect a serious investigation.

Of course, if John McCain wins, nothing will happen (same with Obama). Small wonder the terrorists "hate us for our freedom"--if it means this, I hate us for our freedom too. Are they guilty? My opinion is a qualified "yes," but that's more based on what's already happened under this administration and Congress already.

Give them all fair trials, but I would imagine the smoking guns are everywhere, which is why a number of them quit so as to avoid prosecution. Luckily, someone in the Justice Department has their back in some cases. Shame, and you can't put lipstick on Mark Foley, it's just too creepy. Yeah, we killed-off and marginalized the Native Americans for this. What we get afterwards will be well-earned if we allow it to continue.

Whores: http://money.cnn.com/2008/09/10/news/economy/oil_officials.ap/index.htm?postversion=2008091015