Ten good things to come out of the current economic crisis

1. Less junk mail: Yes, I know, we've been getting bombarded with tons of it during the never-ending elections, the health care debate, and the rest of the astroturf and Lollipop Guild crowd. But this is good, and there are trees breathing a little easier right now.

2. The death of the myth of the American Dream: It was never real anyway, and who wanted except the dopes making all of the money? The rest of us got thrown the bones for pointless labor. At least now the mask is off and it's going to be harder to pacify us with crappy consumer products whose creation is destroying the natural environment. Productivity = death.

3. No more talk about American exceptionalism except from the obviously deluded: After 2001, I wouldn't have been responsible for my actions if I had heard another pigslob uttering this bullshit. Got tell people on an Indian reservation and the urban ghettos. Tell a homeless veteran. Now that the mask is off, people don't want to hear your bullshit and aren't listening anymore.

4. Far less talk of how "great" Ronald Reagan was, "the greatest president that ever lived": Not only wasn't he not great, he left office in disgrace over Iran-Contra (trading weapons-for-hostages with terrorists); left the economy in ruins (now outdone by another GOP "majority" and president); pushed unnecessary and unprecedented defense spending; waged an illegal proxy war in Central America; nearly got us all killed in a nuclear war at least once; helped smash many unions, something that hurts the American worker to this day; did not "win" the Cold War and actually wanted it to continue; was not a good actor, ever, by any standard; was little more than a puppet of big business and was assuredly senile upon his unfortunate inauguration into office; and was not elected by a real majority vote since only a little over 22% of the eligible voters at the time even voted, giving him about a quarter of one of the worst turnouts in an American election (thanks to cynicism generated by his own party over Watergate).

5. We're polluting the planet much less: Fewer jobs = Less "disposable income" = Less productivity = less pollution = a better world (and cycle it around, again and again).

6. Wal-Mart is making a much smaller profit: See five.

7. The racists are being forced out of hiding: This always occurs when things turn sour. It's easier to hit a target that's out in the open. Hiding was safe, harder to isolate and neutralize, but now, they're running around yammering because they think it's safe to. Meanwhile, people like me are taking notes, taking down names...

8. The myth of capitalism is finally dying: Can't you hear it? Then get the shit out of your ears. Even former Treasury Sec. Hank Paulson said earlier this year that had they not done the bailout with the banks that there would have been "riots" and "a loss-of-faith in the system," something many of us have been hoping for all along. The ultimate irony in all of this is that the bailouts aren't going to work. Wall Street rammed its representatives into Congress and the White House, nixing most chances for reform, the very thing that would prevent another internal collapse of the financial system. Nothing succeeds like failure, but thankfully, none of this can last. The real collapse will come anyway, and there will be no remnants of classical capitalism left when it's over.

9. The Republican Party is finally on-the-verge of permanent collapse: But hurry up, will ya? I mean it, quit fucking around, we've tolerated you assholes enough. Besides, we'll have to take down the Democratic Party after that since they'll be emboldened with your absence. You were always the real "fifth column," the real "anti-Americans." You are the enemy within, and so are you children, the Libertarians especially, and the rest of what's left of the right in America. Go away. Fuck off.

10. The very strong possibility that the generation-long routing of the working-class by the rich has failed and that nature is going to take them down: Hey, that's great, you get your temporary dictatorship. It won't last. It won't save your wealth. It won't save your dirty energy and industries. Nature is coming for you, and you will lose. Your grandchildren will live in the same toxic environment as everyone else as hurricanes and tornados pummel human civilization into submission. Deserts will emerge where there was once farmland, and your militaries will grind to a halt, ending any semblance of power you might have once had. The wealthy are not gods. They are not nature. Nature always wins.