Sunday, June 22, 2008

More Larfs from the Mailbox: A chain-letter (filled-out example)


The J-7 Mailbox
--A dear friend sent this and filled-it-out. His answers are absurd and hilarious to me, though I can't say why. Probably because they're so irrational.




DIRECTIONS: Now, Here Is What You Are Supposed To Do...And Please Do Not Spoil The Fun!

Hit Forward, Delete My Answers And Type In Your Answers. Then Send This To A Whole Bunch Of People That You Know...And Send It Back To Me So I Can See Your Answers,

The Theory Is That You Will Learn A Lot Of Little Known Facts About Those You Know. Remember To Send It Back Please!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? yes
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? now
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Didn't tag all of those railroad cars for nothing
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? olive loaf
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Talk to my lawyer

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? no, just another subject


7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT? What is sarcasm?
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS yes
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? I don't even need a bungee
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? murder
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? no, only when I can't get them on.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? enough

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM ? soy (lactose intolerant)
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Any kind of horrific disfigurement
15. RED OR PINK? PINK!!! (red is likely to be infected)

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? too humble
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? the small, fast people. the big, slow ones are easy targets
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Cash will suffice
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Pervert
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE ? Not finished yet
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? voices in my head, but I don't necessarily agree with them.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Burnt Joe Duke
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? cocaine
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Barney
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU ? What a dick.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? porn
27. HAIR COLOR? No thanks, I'm trying to quit
28. EYE COLOR? brown and red
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? What's that supposed to mean?
30. FAVORITE FOOD ? anything endangered

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Aren't they the same?
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCH? Big Tit Sluts
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? black
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer
35. HUGS OR KISSES? You're not my type
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?Corned beef
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? nobody
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? tie between Napolean and Ghandi
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I'm on the internet now
40. WHAT IS ON UR MOUSE PAD? Nothing a little soap and water won't take care of

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Exciting breaking news coverage of Tim Russert's passing
42. FAVORITE SOUND? "c'mere"
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?Both with a side of Ween and some of those fried cinnamon things for dessert


44. How FAR HAVE YOU BEEN AWAY FROM HOME ? I can't imagine being any farther away from "home" than I am right now
45. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Mine! (the suspense is killing me)