Some more thoughts on the word "retarded"

Now that Sarah Palin's tried very feebly--as is her wont in all endeavors--to control our language when she can't even control her own, it's time to pull our collective-heads out of our collective-asses and realize that this is just a word and that the context it's used in and the intent behind it are what's important. The word itself is unimportant, and mature adults know this and accept it for what it is. People say hurtful things, get over it, grow-up.

But we's a reactionary people--bawss--and we go off half-cocked all the time since many of us "natives" (Eurotrash) are descended from lynch mobs, though that's another fairy tale for another time. Does it have to be said that this is just a word? Yes, apparently, it does: it's just a word, folks. You can't shield yourself or your kids from everything, and sometimes, sometimes, we have be tolerant and take our licks like everyone else. That's life, and part of being a real adult. You accept that there are things that are never going to go away and that you cannot get rid of them.

When you stampede like a wild herd of mindless buffaloes (OK, that's unfair to the bison), as many of us did in the immediate aftermath of the events of September 11th, 2001, you start fucking-up all over the place. We all blew it, myself included, for various reasons. In my own case, I should have been far more defiant and opposed to the Bush II administration even in the aftermath of that event. I was not, and I was not alone, not by a long-shot. And wasn't the manipulation of language at the core of their misrule for eight very long years that the Tea Baggers (Tea Tards) seem to have missed entirely? Words like "terrorism," "weapons of mass destruction," "mushroom clouds," "attacks," "suspects," "terror alerts," and so many others, were injected with and took on new and very hollow meaning to whip-up fear in an already reactionary society and culture.

The bastards knew their marks well, and they not only rifled-through our wallets, but convinced many of us to hand over our hard won rights as Americans. This was not only stupid, it was, and still is, pathetic, and stinks of a people who probably don't deserve their liberties, if they ever did. That's not to say we can't fix what happened, but we have our work cut out for us, and that means endlessly demanding of the current administration, and probably the one after it, that there are real investigations into the crimes known or suspected of being committed by the administration of George W. Bush. We're either a nation of laws, or merely one of words, and now we seem to even want to hand over one of the last things that makes us truly unique as a nation: a historically rare and wide-ranging freedom of speech and press.

So, for an obviously corrupt and moronic woman and former politician like Sarah Palin to tell anyone what they can and cannot say is absurd and should be met with horselaughs from all corners of American society. The upside of this is that she's actually accelerating the demise of the GOP and causing incredible division in the ranks of the Tea Party (bowel) movement, a group comprised mostly of reactionary small business owners who, until very recently, were either apolitical lumps who flunked civics class, or outright ignoramuses. Instead of the Boston Tea Party, these misguided morons invoke the memory of the same kinds of idiots that gave us the Teapot Dome scandal, courtesy of the gift that keeps on giving, the GOP, a party that makes no bones about being for the big-shots and conglomerates.

Yet many of these same turds that gave us some of the mess we're in think they have the answers when they clearly don't at all. To say that these petty bourgeois fools shit where they eat would be redundant and their reactions are just that: the dysfunctional flailing of retarded children. Put that in your meth-pipe and smoke it tonight, Bubba.

Why nobody gets that Sarah Silverman did (and said) the right thing at the TED convention this week

WWW--The reaction to this has been--well--retarded, and that's being far too kind to most who organized and attended TED. As the story goes, Sarah Silverman was invited and paid to do her stand-up routine at the TED convention in the ugly town of Long Beach, California that took place from February 9-13.

Silverman's appearance seems to have been on the last day. Most Americans don't even know what the fuck this convention is or even care (I'm in their ranks), but they made the news with Silverman's routine and are smarting over it for some reason. They're also trying to misrepresent what happened and show a great case of being unable to think laterally or outside of the box. In other words, the public doesn't know or care about TED for most of the right reasons.

This is what TED is: a lot of bullshit propped-up by money and more bullshit to recruit and to not listen to people with ideas, misuse and misapply them, piss the originators of said ideas off, and then watch them quit in disgust a few months later like most employer-employee relationships in the happy old US of A. But hey, when you have a dumbshow of already ossified bourgeois mummies you have to at least go through the motions:

TED is a small nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader. Along with the annual TED Conference in Long Beach, California, and the TEDGlobal conference in Oxford UK, TED includes the award-winning TEDTalks video site, the Open Translation Program, the new TEDx community program, this year's TEDIndia Conference and the annual TED Prize. ... The annual conferences in Long Beach and Oxford bring together the world's most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes). (Ted.com, "About" page)

That's exactly what they got from Silverman, yet the organizer of the event, Chris Anderson, isn't exactly a genius, and that's why he's not showcased as a real thinker, slagged Silverman for her routine. This was the talk of Silverman's life and she felt very strongly to do what she did, think what you will. Did she take the TED engagement seriously? I believe so, this wasn't a "for the hell of it deal." You see...how soon we forget.

Silverman's repertoire and themes are always changing, just as they have with the great American stand-up comedians and social critics like Dick Gregory, Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, Mort Sahl, and even Noam Chomsky (one of the most often-quoted intellectuals in Western history, yet apparently never invited to speak at TED in its 26 year history). For some reason, the onus is on Silverman for saying the word "retarded" at least ten times in her stand-up routine, and again, remember that she was invited, she didn't crash the event and run up onstage yelling the word without any logical context. That would be the job of another woman named Sarah, a goyische one, a WASP one. Besides, seeing things without any logical context--as we all know--is the job of CEOs, politicians and the public in these here United States. Context is everything, or nothing, if you find thinking painful.

But not more than two weeks ago we had a "controversy" about the word "retarded" and all of its many permutations (my favorite being "tard," mostly because it sounds funny and makes the person saying it look and sound funny), and it was trotted-out all over by a supplicant media and Internet by none other than failed VP candidate, Sarah Palin who has a child with Down syndrome. It should be mentioned here that most women approaching and past the age of forty years old are or should be informed by their personal physician or gynecologist that the risks of having a child with Down syndrome become considerably higher with a woman in this age range. But she had a child anyway, and drags the poor baby around the country while she's trying hard not to get elected. Never mind all this, it's just context, very inconvenient context, and it's all about that evil Sarah Silverman.

It gets better, and in case you've been in a coma, here's a little summary of the last couple weeks of political and cultural idiocy and general human folly:

The latest battle over the R-word kicked into high gear with a Jan. 26 Wall Street Journal report that last summer White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel blasted liberal activists unhappy with the pace of health-care reform, deriding their strategies as "[expletive] retarded." Palin, the mother of a special-needs child, quickly took to Facebook to demand Emanuel's firing, likening the offensiveness of the R-word to that of the N-word. Limbaugh seized the low ground, saying he found nothing wrong with "calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards," and Palin rushed to his defense, saying Limbaugh had used the word satirically. Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert took her up on it, calling Palin an "[expletive] retard" and adding, with a smile: "You see? It's satire!" ("The case against banning the word 'retard'," The Washington Post, 02.14.2010)

Yes, it's "satire," but only the elect (not elected, however) get to use the term, and in whatever context they feel they want to use it in. But not anyone else, and they'll use the word to suppress other words if they have their way. Players only, yo.

As a matter of fact, the herding instinct has already set in and very naive and pathetic people are taking pledges like it's go time at Masada. In that same Jewish tradition, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel fell on his sword, but probably not without a lot of prodding from his ostensible boss, the president, a man who seems intent on fucking-up and showing no vision or leadership skills unless he's left with no other alternatives. Hey, it's America.

But what did Silverman say exactly? This is where things get kind of sketchy since we're not seeing any footage with audio yet, but I would imagine we will eventually. Tech Crunch.com seems to have the most cogent version so far from a female attendee in the audience:

“I want to adopt a special needs child (to which one person applauded), because adopting a special needs child, who would do that? Only an awesome person, right?” I looked around the room and I knew exactly what was coming next. She was going to say retarded and not only was she going to say it, she was going to drop it like 10 times. I knew it wouldn’t be ok, but I was excited about it.

Words are powerful. They are mightier than the sword and all of that, but if you let them have too much power, you can create what I feel is evil. You create a society of people who are so concerned about what they say and what is PC and you destroy creative expression. ...

She went on to say:

“The only problem with adopting a retarded child is that the retarded child, when you are 80 is well, still retarded and that she wouldn’t enjoy the freedoms of setting them free at age 18, so she was only going to adopt a retarded child with a terminal illness so it has an expiration date, because who would adopt a retarded child with a terminal illness? Well, someone who was awesome like her”.

The room went silent and she went on with her show and sang a song about how all of the penises in the world couldn’t fill your heart holes. ... ("TED Organizer Trashes Speaker [Silverman], Fails Social IQ Test, Tech Crunch.com, 02.14.2010)

According to the attendee, roughly half of the audience applauded, and out of those, half appeared to have "gotten" the real message. We're a slow culture, so bear with me, please, since the future hinges on it. Apparently they, and a few others in attendance, have a clue where Silverman and the nation have been and what actual stand-up looks and sounds like. It's no secret that she's a shock comedienne, she's even on Comedy Central with her own show, and has been around for over twenty years. It seems TED is as ignorant about Silverman as the public is about them.

Certainly the well-heeled puds that were populating some of the ranks of the audience that received her well-aimed cultural assault on the suppression of words had little idea of who she is and what kind of a comedienne she represents. Silverman is a social critic and a satirist. She is brave, and she's cut through the bullshit of our culture...if only we had eyes to see it and ears to hear it. At least some of us do. Sarah Silverman just did America a very big favor and she's a hero, you betcha!

"Is Sarah Silverman Retarded, posted 10.13.2007: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRegd02Qiew

"TED Organizer Trashes Speaker [Silverman], Fails Social IQ Test, Tech Crunch.com, 02.14.2010: http://techcrunch.com/2010/02/14/ted-organizer-trashes-speaker-fails-social-iq-test/

TED (not your uncle): http://www.ted.com/pages/view/id/7

The Palin emails are why Sarah resigned as Governor of Alaska...

WWW--The fun has only just begun. She does NOT want to run for president or any elected office with this shit in her past. Just sayin'. Maybe some of them will show she did in fact blow Ted Stevens...

http://palinemail.crivellawest.net/

Postscript on Sarah Palin...

Not only does Palin fakes orgasms, but also that she's part of the same species as the rest of us.

On Sarah Palin, generally...

Don't think for a second that Sarah Palin, this moronic bitch, this cunt, is anything but a fucking stupid and emotionally retarded child, much like her supporters. You all give her far too much credit. Yes, she has a nice rack and a great num-num ass that's she's used for ages to get ahead, but don't give her credit when she barely rises above an Anchorage hooker in wit, intellect, and basic street smarts. OK, that was unfair to Anchorage hookers, all ten of them. Comedian Lewis Black put it well that our political class is a "bowl of shit having to look at itself in the mirror" right now, but that would make Palin a bowl of diseased sexual emissions. Seward's (ice) box indeed...

Political porn star Sarah Palin hopes to beat record of porn star Lisa Sparxxx

You have to love it when aspiring candidates dip their toes into the water to see whether the public loves or hates them. According to a recent AP poll, Americans almost roundly hate former GOP VP candidate Sarah Palin, but there she is, all over the media, all over the place, being handed microphones and positioned in front of the cameras like Dick Cheney and his diseased brood. I should mention that they hate Rudolph Giuliani as well, contrary to another unpopular delusion.

Say what you want about Americans, but being immersed in advertising 24/7 has taught them one thing: they know bullshit when they see it.

The rest is like dating and bad relationships where we kid ourselves that that special someone might change one day, something that's going on with President Obama right now as one campaign promise after another is discarded. It's not gonna happen. Like any bad relationship, you tell the bastards to change or get out; if you don't, you only have yourself to blame for what comes after that. But some relationships should never have been entered into in the first place...

Looking at Palin, it's obvious to all but the most delusional that we're being presented with yet another pile of shit in her and the message she's spouting is equally worthless and part of the past that got us into the mess we're currently in. The public at least senses this, but it's really down to the presentation and her attitude, something that most can't put a finger on, but know intuitively anyway. There's something atavistic about her, something one could identify squarely in Greek or historical tragedy, something about blindness and unbelievable hubris that finally wrecks a nation.

Palin has said that she would like to play a role in the 2012 elections, "if the people will have me." But the people don't want her and it isn't dissuading her from forcing herlself on them, just like most mainstream politicians. More importantly: Is she really capable of breaking the Gangbang World Record, and could this non-sequitur I'm writing ever be as leading as the memes the mainstream constantly bombards all of us with? "My ambition, if you will, my desire [clearly, her bloodlust] is to help our country in whatever role that may be [great, how about hostess?], and I cannot predict what that will be [I can, and it's not being president], what doors [the gates of hell] will be open in the year 2012," then she sacrificed a small mammal and made some bizarre utterances, and attempted to read its entrails, a little haruspicy for old time's sake.

Palin recalls the crazed Maenads, a cult to Dionysus, in her mindless drive to power, any power at all, for no particular purpose but her own. She most certainly isn't the Pythia of Delphi who only told those who came to her where they were screwing-up. What be the fate of Orpheus and Mount Parnassus? Ruins. Sometimes, even a little help from the divine and our genetic material isn't going to save us.

"I'd probably rather write than talk." This is true, but most men would rather fuck than eat, and Palin's looks are clearly a part of why she was chosen by a decidedly sexist and racist Republican Party leadership to run in the first place. Now she's "going rogue," something she probably did well when she fucked the football team back home in Alaska during her salad days. Welcome to the United State of America, not that Alaska's part of it. But ask anyone--any man--and they'll tell you that most of us wouldn't want to be in that gangbang line, huh-uh. Lisa Sparxxx claims to have had sex with 919 men, which is clearly depraved and as pointless as a Palin candidacy--but what's the point of it all? No one had to tell Americans that politics was masturbation. It takes a nation, and lubrication, but there's no lubricant on earth that's going put Sarah together again when she was never whole or sane in the first place and the public never wanted her, let alone knew who the hell she was before 2008. At best, she's helped us see what part of the public is as crazy and detached from reality as she is, and that at least is a good thing.

The ancient truly manifesting in the modern world can only be a disaster, but we might be better served with the Apollonian were there no other option. Sarah Palin is the Oracle without any eyes, the Blind Seer, a Shibboleth, the Hierophant. Don't underestimate her, she is walking, shambling death.

On Sarah Palin's new book...

Like Criswell, I predict that this book will have more horselaughs than Adolph Hitler's Mein Kampf, and will have actually been read by as many people! Just as many people will have claimed to have read it as the collected speeches of Lenin and the Holy Bible! Soon, very soon, Going Rogue will be found in the drawers of seedy motels and hotels the globe over, and like those other books no one ever really bothers to read, some of the people coming upon it will use its pages for rolling papers or other uses that I'd rather not get into right now.

When is the GOP finally going to die, and where do we bury it?

"Climbing the eastern wall as it had come, the colossus went to and fro for many hours, no longer wreaking a hellish wrath and rancour, but searching, as people thought, for the various tombs and graves from which the hundreds of bodies that composed it had been so foully reft. From charnel to charnel, from cemetery to cemetery it went, through all the land; but there was no grave anywhere in which the dead colossus could lie down." --Clark Ashton Smith, The Colossus of Ylourgne," 1934.


Come on GOP, you know you want to take that gun and...you love that gun, oh yes you do, and you love to use it. So use it. The problem with you being gone is that then the Democrats will have a free hand to become even more corrupt than they already are, and boy are they, just like you. But they hide it better. In a short time, they would look exactly like you do, possibly worse. Granted, that's a short walk off a short pier, and God knows they want to stay in Afghanistan too and give us an Orwellian war without end, but they're a smidgen more realistic than you, GOP. Just not very much, and they like falling on their swords when it means a pro-business agenda will be secure.

And those dumbbells that come at you with assault rifles at presidential speeches--they're you're rednecks! I didn't make 'em, their stupid parents and a bad educational system did. The worst part of you--GOP--is the smell: it's there, all the signs of decay, of putrefaction, are present. You stink. Small wonder that the national elections are held in the first week of November, so close to All Saints Day, today, which is then followed by All Souls Day, for the departed. Everything about the Republican Party is death. What does the GOP have left but dead ideologies? The stiff's still walking around, going through the various stages of mourning; give it time to realize that it's dead, just let it die. Martyrs? There have been no martyrs in the Republican Party since Abraham Lincoln, so they might have to create a few, and they're willing to. What does the GOP have besides a bunch of free market extremists and racist psychopaths yelling their heads off until nobody listens?

Their disconnect from reality is both genuine and terrifying: just this week Rush Limbaugh claimed that former VP candidate Sarah Palin was somehow prepared to be president, that she's capable and educated enough in geopolitics, economics, world history, and so on, to serve adequately in the Oval Office. Never mind merit, I think she can win, so who cares? He sounds like Franz von Papen when he urged President Paul von Hindenburg "hire" Hitler and make him Chancellor (Hitler lost the election, look it up, Vonnegut was wrong), and at this point she doesn't have a chance unless the economy crashes even further without further government intervention and someone burns down the Reichstag again in a terrorist attack.

My guess is the Saudis are waiting for someone to rebuild the World Trade Center so they can blow it up again. They have a long wait. Oh yeah, and Dick Armey (unfortunate name) is William Jennings Bryan (in a sick way he really is) as William Jennings Bryan at the Scopes Monkey trial, not the one that defended Eugene Debs and other unionists. We just keep coming back to the 1920s-30s! What business elites (and Libertarians) want is to drag us back into the 19th century when there was no regulation of much of anything, the good old days that never were. It's not so hard to believe when you take into account that the rich in America never accepted the New Deal.

When are we going to cope with modernity? When are we going to finally accept that we cannot go back to some arboreal Eden, that there never was a golden age, and that we're stuck with technology? There's no sticking the Djin back in its bottle once it's gotten free. History doesn't work that way; it means moving forward, and we should do so cautiously. We must change. If we go forward as we have, favoring corporations, subsidizing fossil fuels and concentrated wealth, and continue to move away from democratic traditions, all is lost. The real threat is coming from misguided Populism, as it always has, because it can be used against the rest of us. That's right, lack in others is a threat to everyone. Pointing these dummies at hot button issues and progressive targets and letting them run amok works. When people already hold irrational beliefs and attitudes, it's not such a long walk off that short pier. Now, where are we going to bury the GOP? We might want two graves for both major parties. Anyone? A shovel?

The Manchester Guardian: "Sarah Palin's upcoming memoir knocks Dan Brown from top spot"

That's right dearie, everyone cranes their neck at the scene of a car accident, and Palin is a car accident par excellence. Oh yeah: Dan Brown can't write, and Johnny can't read; if you think Freemasonry has any secrets beyond the innate meaning found in eternal symbols, you have a reading comprehension problem too.

It's a fraternal and humanist social organization, get over yourself. Look at the traditional enemies of Freemasonry, and you'll find all the worst groups and people in human history, it's a simple fact. The intolerant hate the Craft. Hitler hated the Craft. Stalin hated the Craft. The Vatican and its office of the Holy Inquisition hated and hate the Craft. Radical Islam hates the Craft. Neo-Nazis and the radical right in-general hate the Craft. The ignorant hate the Craft, meaning Sarah Palin.

Why Ted Stevens won't be returning to the United States Senate anytime soon

Anchorage, Alaska--Perhaps Seward was wrong, but the people of Alaska have essentially spoken, and even through a jury last year: a majority of Alaskans don't want Ted Stevens to represent them on the national level anymore, and this goes beyond the narrow election results. But the will of the people aside, Stevens doesn't have many future options since former Anchorage mayor and Democrat Mark Begich legally won the election and isn't going to resign from the Senate.

There's no reason for Begich to resign. He won legally regardless.

The truth of the matter is, Ted Stevens was a guilty public servant who was over-zealously prosecuted by a Department of Justice under the control of the Republican Party via the Bush II administration. On time and on schedule, the GOP are calling for special elections and claiming incorrectly that Stevens has been cleared, but it's not going to float or catch-on with a public rightly concerned and fixated on an economy that was wrecked by the same people in many cases.

Far be it from the right to want a straw to hold onto and the ability to paint themselves as victims. The biggest problem is that this was all self-inflicted and that it took a non-partisan administration to fix the mess left behind in the Stevens case. The American Enterprise Institute had similar sentiments to say this week, and it's telling about the right's mindset of victimhood and entitlement.

...Republicans would be furious if Stevens had been prosecuted by a Democratic administration. But, inconveniently, he was prosecuted by a Republican administration. And it was a Democratic Attorney General who handsomely admitted error and dropped the case. Eric Holder may be making some decisions on political grounds, like his decision to reject the advice of the Office of Legal Counsel that the D.C. congressional voting bill is unconstitutional and accept instead the advice of the solicitor general's office that it would be defensible in court, a much lower standard. And we can criticize Holder for his conduct in connection with the Marc Rich and other Clinton pardons. But we can't say that he's a complete political hack. ... ("Former Senator Ted Stevens Deserves Praise From Alaskans, American Enterprise Institute, 04.02.2009)

Correct, not a "complete political hack" like an Alberto Gonzales. And yes, there are huge parades going on this week in Alaska celebrating all of this. Didn't you notice them? Me either. And besides, Washington D.C. is predominantly African-American, and they don't tend to vote Republican...not that that has anything to do with Ted Stevens and the DOJ (DOH!), the AEI decided to drag them into it for reasons known only to themselves (since it doesn't make any sense).

No, the AEI really makes it clear that they want a fight, but cannot mount one for obvious reasons.

Additionally, this week's statements by the DOJ have not once mentioned anywhere that former Senator Stevens was cleared of any wrong-doing in the matter of bribery and making false statements to federal agents, but that the charges have been dropped. And once again, it should be reiterated that sitting Senator Mark Begich isn't going to resign. Can Stevens sue? Unlikely, and he doesn't want anyone looking into the things that he was legitimately convicted of, which are numbered in the several, and there could be more.

The Wall Street Journal's Law Blog states:

Nobody seems overly thrilled with the outcome, least of all Stevens’s attorney, Williams & Connolly’s Brendan Sullivan. “This jury verdict was obtained unlawfully,” read the statement penned by W&C. “The misconduct of government prosecutors, and one or more FBI agents, was stunning.” The statement went on to decry the “corrupt” conduct of attorneys and the FBI in the case, though it said Holder and the new prosecution team, along with Emmett Sullivan, the trial judge, were “heroes” for bringing the information to light. ("Can Ted Stevens Sue the Government...And Win?," WSJ Law Blog, 04.02.2009)

Stevens also has some curious defenders in the Senate, such as the questionable Daniel Inoye (D-Hawaii) who has been tangentially connected to the Randy Cunningham/Brent Wilkes bribery scandal and straw men like Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid ("[H]e's already been punished enough."). Inouye has a bad habit of publicly defending his corrupt peers in Congress, but a wolf knows a wolf and the public knows it at the moment. One need only look at the approval ratings of Congress, as they haven't gone much higher since the Bush II administration left office.

The Obama administration's DOJ has made a good decision in many respects here, and it will tend to undercut most calls of partisanship when such former Bush II luminaries as Karl Rove take the stand this spring. This writer's take is that there will be many more following Mr. Rove into court, some being sent off to be housed in a federal prison.

From Dermot Cole's Oped at The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner's blog:

...But the Republican party and Gov. Sarah Palin are going to have to accept that Begich was elected to a six-year term. He's not going to resign.

The "corrupt Department of Justice" is the problem, according to Randy Ruedrich, the state GOP chair.

But if the Republican Party and Palin push the call for Begich to resign, it will naturally lead to renewed debate about aspects of the Stevens investigation that were not contradicted by the flip-flops in Bill Allen's story and the evidence withheld from Stevens' lawyers. ... ("Begich is not going to resign," Newsminer.com, 04.02.2009)

That's about where it's going to rest, contrary to the cynical flip-flopping of the inimitable Governor Sarah Palin and the rest of the GOP inside and outside of Alaska who are now calling for special elections. It's not going to work when a Republican administration overzealously and incompetently attempted to prosecute a guilty man, then had the charges dropped by a new Democratic one. Stevens should feel lucky indeed.

Other defendants from the same period are either dead (by their own hand in the case of the DC Madam), desperately working to make a deal, divested of everything they own, and/or are currently sitting in a federal prison. No April Fool's there. Ted Stevens is just as guilty today as he was before April 1, 2009, but the last administration's prosecutors simply made so much of a mess of it that it's not worth pursuing, and there's every reason to do so to serve a greater good that has little to do with the former defendant.

Stevens's lawyer is mistaken that his client has been "cleared." He has not. Lockstep Republicans are echoing the same, and all of them are being intellectually dishonest. Nothing new there, move along. Letting Stevens go was an easy decision from every angle, there are bigger fish to fry and they're going to be entering the docket soon. Some of them will be prominent career Republicans, while others will be right-leaning criminal CEOs. The Obama administration's dismissal of the conviction will be their political firewall.

Now, it's time for the OLC to look very seriously and assiduously into the prosectutions of Mississippi attorney Paul Minor and former Alabama Governor Don Siegelman for what were likely political ends by the Bush II administration and elements within the RNC. While they're at it, they might want to look into prosecutorial misconduct in the trial of the DC Madam. It's there, just ask Bill Bastone of the Smoking Gun some time, it'll get a rise out of him. Let the rule of law be served.

"Former Senator Ted Stevens Deserves Praise From Alaskans, American Enterprise Institute, 04.02.2009: http://www.aei.org/publications/filter.all,pubID.29651/pub_detail.asp

"Can Ted Stevens Sue the Government...And Win?," WSJ Law Blog, 04.02.2009: http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2009/04/02/can-ted-stevens-sue-the-government-and-win/

"Begich is not going to resign," Daily News-Miner blog, 04.02.2009: http://newsminer.com/weblogs/dermot-cole/2009/apr/02/begich-is-not-going-to-resign/

"On Sarah Palin and a Turkey," a theopolitical reflection by LenDavinny

There must be some kinda way outta here,

Said the Jester to the turkey,

I should be eating crow right now,

But I'd prefer moose jerky...

But I think I just figured it out from watching Sarah Palin pardoning a turkey who should have replied, "back at you," but was no doubt grieving his soon to be fallen brethren who were no less worthy of Salvation than he, just less lucky. Sarah should, but probably does not, empathize with a randomly selected lucky turkey. How could she not see the beauty in the irony of the only fitting sacrifice to match her sudden popularity and $7 million book deal?

But the truth came, as it always does for Governor Palin, during the interview as a turkey was being decapitated in the background while she chortled, or gobbled, on about this season of joy and celebration. Onlookers reportedly informed her of what was transpiring, or expiring, behind her and she said she didn't have a problem with it. Presumably, she and the turkey are both looking forward to a far better 2012 with great anticipation.

What do you call the syndrome when you get festive occasions reversed to the point that you celebrate Thanksgiving with a Halloween-appropriate turkey snuff film? Possibly, Holiday Dyslexia. And if it didn't have a name, let it have one now, and let us celebrate the noble life of another national treasure pratfalling toward a great destiny. I suddenly realized that I don't want to see her go, she's a national treasure.

I can't wait to see what she has in store for Christmas. Maybe a Santa Cottontail, hopping all the way from the North Pole, "Hippity hoppity, hippity hoppity, dash away, dash away all!" Or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Post Traumatically Disabled Alcoholic Vietnam Survivor for Veteran's Day. Think of the possibilities: even ingenious comedians like Groucho Marx, Madeline Kahn,or Gracie Allen couldn't hire enough good writers and deliver enough lines with the timing and sheer Providential luck with which the woman has been blessed.

And maybe it is a blessing.

Maybe people of her religious calling do have the ear of God who bestows a halo upon them and it is spangles of hanging lights like a jester's crown. And there's one thing for sure--if He's doing it, He's got a great and warped sense of humor. We already knew that, didn't we? Palin is immaculate in her innocence.

This innocence is so disarming that I go weak in the knees and have to hold back the tears for the righteous, and I hear God, the Highest of Holy Ventriloquists [Ed.--Hey, does that guy have his union card?] filtering through her somehow purifying, cleansing ignorance. And He tells me, "A funny thing happened on my way to the grave...oh come on down there! Walk it off and cheer up! Hasn't anybody gotten the message?" Guess not. Certainly not in Washington, "said the Jester to the Thief...."

And again, I can only say apologies to Bob and a round of applause for the rest of humanity. Give yourself a hand, Ladies and Gentlemen, and kindly walk around the blood and feathers on the way out. It's been great, huh?

No reason to get excited,

The turkey kindly spoke.

There are many here among us

Who feel that life is about a joke.

But you and I , we've been through that,

And that is not our Fate.

Election day will come again,

And for those of us without a clue, it never gets too late.

[Ed.--Come on, it was secret squirrel code to Bush to pardon himself...for farting. "And she's always a turkey to me."]

A new plan for Seward's icebox, by Len Davinny

Below is the logo for Alaskan Independence Party.

Now listen carefully: First we help them secede and achieve nationhood. Then we declare war on a made-up pretext like destruction of the international ecological balance (don't worry about us being more to blame than anyone else, truth has never stood in our way in the past, trust me on that), invade, and take possession of mineral rights though not admitting it as usual, and then we deal with their former Head of State. Just like in Iraq.

Only we feed her to a lovable AIP mascot, just like the one on the romantic, maverickishly- inspired logo. Case closed.

Joe (really Sam, but "Joe" sounds more iconic, so he ran with it) the plumber butt

" 'I’m kind of like Britney Spears having a headache. ...Everybody wants to know about it.' ” --Faux Ohio plumber Samuel Wurzelbacher shooting his mouth off again on Thursday. (AP)

Holland, Ohio--Poor Joe. He won't pay his taxes, he doesn't really have the legal right to work as a plumber in and around Toledo (making him an unqualified scab), and he couldn't stop and think about these facts when he opened his big mouth towards presidential candidate Barack Obama. This would all be due to the fact that he's clearly unintelligent, making him a Republican by-default.

The Obama campaign was doing door-to-door meetings with voters in Joe's neighborhood, and it was entirely coincidental--but very likely, it being Ohio--that they brushed-up against a very silly and stupid man named Samuel Wurzelbacher, who likes to go by the name of "Joe." Or was it a coincidence?

Wurzelbacher finally had his "chance" at his own fifteen minutes of fame, and now he wishes that he hadn't taken it. He's now ducking any and all media outlets. But all the lapdog press has been doing is balancing him with the reality of his statements about the candidate, his platform, and Wurzelbacher's claims about himself. Unsurprisingly, they don't match-up with objective reality, but since when has that ever stopped a wrong-headed American from shooting their mouth off in a way that can only hurt themselves? Ahem.

As we all know by now, Wurzelbacher questioned Obama's tax plan, echoing baseless GOP attacks that we're all--all of us--going to be taxed higher, even the rest of us who make under $250,000 a year, like "Joe." Except "Joe" doesn't make what the rest of us do, he makes significantly more, at least $100,000-a-year. Yes, I feel so sorry for everyone who makes that much a year, but they shouldn't be so afraid of Obama, he's got their tax-cheat backs more than they or Wurzelbacher might suspect. Even the late DC Madam paid her taxes properly.

Not ever wanting to look into someone's background, as in the case of VP candidate Sarah Palin, John McCain's campaign grabbed for any straw man they could. McCain went on to mention that he was fighting for "the Joes out there" during the final presidential debate, the name being a kind of catch-all for the "everyman," the working man.

The problem is, it's not 1951 anymore, and by that point the ladies were part of the workforce anyway. Women don't figure highly in the McCain campaign's rhetoric, Palin aside, and the implications that they favor a male-dominated nuclear family as a social model are obvious. "Joe" (Sam) personifies this ossified model of wrong-headed patriarchal pacification of the rest of us. Hasn't it worked wonders for the economy and our rights these last eight years? How about the breadth of our history?

Never mind all that, Joe doesn't want to pay taxes, and he told Obama this squarely: “Do you believe in the American dream? I'm being taxed more and more for fulfilling the American dream. ...I’m getting ready to buy a company that makes $250,000 to $280,000 a year. ...Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn’t it?” [emphasis added] Yes, it's hard to feel sorry for someone ostensibly poised to make a quarter million a year who doesn't want to pay their share of taxes. These were just some of the loaded questions in which Wurzelbacher neglected to provide the full-context of who he is and where he's been--he's practically a partner in the "firm" he works for with one Al Newell, and that's for starters. Do both of them split the money evenly? We don't know. I don't believe in the American Dream, that's a myth, it's crap.

Even if they did split their business's income previously, Obama's tax plan wouldn't cause a rise in their taxes, and Wurzelbacher knew this when he hit the candidate with the question. It gets worse regarding taxes for Sam.

... And Mr. Wurzelbacher has provided only vague information on his and the company’s finances since talking to Mr. Obama. But if the plumbing business remained a two-person company and the net proceeds — after deductions for business expenses — were shared by the two men, both incomes would most likely fall well below the top tax brackets on which Mr. Obama wants to raise rates, as would the company itself.

... According to public records, Mr. Wurzelbacher has been subject to two liens, each over $1,100 [Ed.--According to Ohio state websites, his state income tax lien is $1, 182.98.]. One, with a hospital, has been settled, but a tax lien with the State of Ohio is still outstanding. ("Real Deal on 'Joe the Plumber' Reveals New Slant," The New York Times, 10.16.2008)

Why would Mr. Newell and Wurzelbacher be so coy about their financial arrangements? Questions directed at candidate Obama were by "Joe" were skewed and loaded regarding his own actual situation, which begs numerous others.

Even if the faux-plumber buys-out Newell's share of the plumbing firm it's unlikely that he'll be paying more taxes under the Obama plan, and he probably understood this when he confronted the presidential candidate. Perhaps he just had a lot to hide? There are other facts regarding the business he works for that he wasn't exactly upfront about, though it's becoming clear that he has problems with mathematics (don't we all?) in many areas.

According to an analysis by Dun & Bradstreet on Wurzelbacher's employer, A. W. Newell Corp., the plumbing and heating contractor has annual sales of $510,000.

If Wurzelbacher bought the company, by the time he took proper business deductions, Bankler said, he'd be left with between $150,000 and $200,000 in taxable income and wouldn't be affected by Obama's proposed increase in the top rates. (" 'Joe the Plumber,' Obama Tax-Plan Critic Owes Taxes (Update 2)," Bloomberg, 10.16.2008)

And so, either Mr. Newell isn't being forthcoming with his "employee," Wurtzelbacher is simply poor at math, or one or both of them isn't being very honest. To be sure, we'll all be finding out very soon who he really is and what their company is really up to.

Then, there are other troubling possibilities, such as the fact that Wurzelbacher lived at 1960 W. Keating Dr., Mesa, Arizona, part of a sprawling apartment subdivision (Dobson Ranch) constructed during the 1970s by the Savings and Loan corruption scandal figure of almost twenty-years-ago. Keating is connected to McCain from that time, and even earlier, and Wurzelbacher's connections to the former perp could be quite intimate.

Maybe these are just coincidences, but one fact is particularly bizarre: it appears that Wurzelbacher purchased his current residence in August of this year. It's either one of an incredible series of coincidences, or it isn't, yet it has all the markings of a Karl Rove job, including possible past break-ins and/or infiltration of the Obama campaign by various GOP operatives. It's possible that Mr. Wurzelbacher is one himself.

At the very least, his 13-year-old kid, his ex-wife, former in-laws, and every person he's ever snubbed or offended now have a new stick to hit Wurzelbacher with for the rest of his natural life. When Obama suggested he wanted to "spread the wealth," Wurzelbacher retorted the standard line of "That's Socialism." Why yes, it is, and it's coming, Sammie. Not tomorrow, but today, now, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. That's how history works sometimes.

" 'Joe the Plumber,' Obama Tax-Plan Critic Owes Taxes (Update 2)," Bloomberg, 10.16.2008: http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aC4j3T5.s_eQ&refer=home

"Real Deal on 'Joe the Plumber' Reveals New Slant," The New York Times, 10.16.2008: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/17/us/politics/17joe.html

More on (moron) Sam J. Wurzelbacher (might need to be pasted): http://www.privateeye.com/Search/SearchResults.aspx?vw=people&input=name&fn=Samuel&mn=&ln=Wurzelbacher&city=&state=OH&criteria=Samuel;;;;Wurzelbacher;;;;OH;;;;;;

Wurzelbacher's August 2008 purchase of his current residence: http://apps.co.lucas.oh.us/areissummary/report.aspx?Parcel=6562411

Palin quotes Ronald Reagan during the VP debates

WWW--That's great, and it was from a Chamber of Commerce-backed LP that Ronnie made during the wonderful 1950s when white Americans were "free" from much social-interaction with those frightening black people.

It was Ronald Reagan who said that freedom is always just one generation away from extinction. We don’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream; we have to fight for it and protect it, and then hand it to them so that they shall do the same, or we’re going to find ourselves spending our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children about a time in America, back in the day, when men and women were free.

That's great to Alaska Sarah, a former beauty queen and now GOP cheerleader and little woman poised to take the throne in case the daddy-figure croaks in office (good chance there). The Apocalypse is nigh if McCain wins, so drink-up (I don't endorse the use of drugs, but do what you have to do).

She wouldn't lie, would she? She wouldn't be part of trying to take our freedoms away, would she? Get real. The real would be tyrants are inarticulate. She wins that one hands-down, but does she admire Wagner? She wouldn't even know who he was or that he inspired Hitler. Does she know of the myth of Faust? Doubtful. Has she ever read Herman Melville and understood his message? Also doubtful. Can she have any comprehension of her obvious vacuuousness? No. Does she even know what "detente" or "mutually assured destruction" means? Nope. Even Reagan did, that's how far we've fallen in the age of the little man (and woman).

Perhaps we're headed towards that moment where all will be one, as in the Hermetic mythology (and countless others) where the higher and lower orders join to become one, immobile, unmovable, and unchanging. Sound horrible? It's the end-point of most spirituality and religions, just not my own. Reagan was that grandfatherly old Shibboleth pushed on us by the business and finance community who reassured us as he took our rights, our jobs, and anything else he and his backers could get their hands on, so what does that make Palin? The smothering Mother of Death, of course, the shadow of the good, nurturing mother. Why? Why does there have to be a reason? Probably because it would get her off.

Reasonable people know there would be no hope of constructive change under her stewardship of government and that things would only worsen, identity politics aside. Never underestimate human perversity, we crave disaster, we want catastrophe to fall upon us. It simply is. Palin has a right to invoke "the great communicator," however. He initiated this mess that we're all in right now and many of the same criminals in the Bush II administration served under him.

Neoconservatism's daddy Grover Norquist served under Reagan, as did Donald Rumsfeld and several top staffers who have also served under George W. Bush. This was never a mistake or a coincidence, and Congress allowed these many appointments to pass, they authorized them. Palin is just the symptom of a much larger contagion rooted in the human condition. Reading this, one might make the mistake that I believe "all is lost." Hardly. This is a new beginning where an old order is falling-away.

Creatures like Palin tend to come out during such times, and must be taken down any way possible, but they also possess human perversity. They are mortal, they are as weak as any of us, merely being propped-up temporarily by social forces, only to return to the dust from whence we all came. Like the rest of us, these "great men" (and women) are as insignificant as a speck in the limitless reaches of the abyss. Curiously, they yearn to return to the primordial ooze that they deny we originate from, a paradox. Life is like that sometimes, yet I have a very real hope and excitement at the possibilities in all of this.

AP: "Opening of ABBA museum delayed"

Stockholm Syndrome, Sweden--In the nation that gave the world one of the earliest examples of a social safety-net, socialized medicine, and women the right to vote, we have...ABBA.™

Today, we're hearing that the opening of the ABBA museum™ in the capital city is being delayed. ABBA™--a pop group with an extremely irritating name and sound--are loved by...well, millions of simple nimrods worldwide. Gay men who have no taste love them for reasons of trite camp. Dumb women love them because--why do you think?! Why do most chick flicks suck? Nooooooo claaaassssss.

These dames, they're stupid, Jesus Christ you know it, and these goobers and mooks are going to vote for that cheerleading Sarah Palin wacko like they did for Warren G. Harding in 1920 for no other reason than "because." John McCain will become infested with tumors, and she's going to be the first unqualified woman president who takes us all over the cliff. Anyone who would want a former glamor queen or a cheerleader to be president is batshit crazy.

Let's face it: Women have a way of doing incredibly stupid shit that's unique to their gender. Men aren't the only predictable and superficial ones out there, and to think morons are isolated to one gender (or party) is utterly ridiculous and absurd.

You know, in the 1970s, industrial pioneers Throbbing Gristle had a "thing" for these Swedish pop whatchamacallits, and it was done out of an extreme irony. Some of it, I assume, was simply to annoy punk rockers which is always good for an easy larf when you're bored. You have to remember that ABBA™ was created by a Swedish millionaire--they weren't a real "band" or "group," but a fiction-of-sorts. Kind of like George W. Bush or any presidential candidate, they were just puppets with a script singing to a playback.

But Throbbing Gristle had a good point: this kind of pop music is so vacant, so hollow, so insincere, that bands like TG, NON, Coil, SPK, Cabaret Voltaire, etc., could never compete with the subversive nihilism behind such an obvious expression of the spiritual abyss of this era. No more fucking ABBA™ indeed. 370 million (they bought multiple-copies) ABBA™ fans can be wrong, so very wrong every single time. Go read Oscar Wilde, some Pasolini, Gore Vidal and peruse the autobiography of Quentin Crisp. You'll actually get something out that.

"Opening of ABBA museum delayed," AP, 09.11.2008: http://enews.earthlink.net/article/ent?guid=20080911/48c897c0_3ca6_1552620080911-1516566394

Postscript: I've been informed that numerous porn production houses are searching desperately for Sarah Palin look-alikes. The Gods must be qwazy...

Postscript to the postcript: The Food Channel's delightfully cynical Anthony Bourdain had an episode in Sweden where he and a group of Viking-bikers threw battle-axes at an ABBA cd. "Mama mia that, you son-of-a-bitch! yelled Bourdain to the applause of the "Vikers." Goddamn if I don't love that guy. Ramones forever (just no copies, punk is over).

An Open Letter to GOP Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin

Gee-Oh-P--It appears that you had no problem--or is it idea?--that your daughter was having premarital-sex, so I have to ask you this: did you sign a letter-of-consent, or are your going to go after the father of your daughter's child? Nah, it looks like it's shotgun wedding time. By the way, she's cute (WINK-WINK, NUDGE-NUDGE). Welcome to real world politics, by the way.

Yeah, OK, I've heard she's gonna marry this little twit, but did you ever stop to think that she did this on-purpose because she thinks you're an asshole? How many teenagers would love to be in her shoes, having the capacity to totally screw-things-up for a parent whom they think is full-of-shit (all teenagers do, the majority of them are right).

Again: did the boy have a signed-note? Of course your youngest isn't hers, the child has down's syndrome which usually comes from a woman having a child too-late in life.

And don't think we don't know you've been in-tight (pun intended) with the accused Ted Stevens, that other crook from Alaska. The remainder of the functional press is digging deeply into your life, talking with everyone you ever screwed-over, all your past comments you should have kept to yourself but had to say in-front of journalists and enemies, and-then-some.

The picture--I predict--will not be a pretty one. That's gonna leave that shell-shocked McCain in a real pickle if enough hammers drop. Luck? You're gonna need it lady, and that's not even bringing "troopergate"into the picture. You were a cheerleader, right? Correct, women can be fascists too.

yours-in-Christ, Matt Janovic