Friday, August 07, 2009

Purple Mays, all in my brain...


WWW--You know, who woulda thunk? Me. Millions who aren't pathetically naive. Billy Mays, a not-a-man who was a carnival barker for fifteen years of his unnatural life, and who hawked a bunch of products I'm not going to mention, was a coke-head. Well, duh.

Far be from me not to speak ill of the dead. This one's worthy of it. And besides: he's dead Jim, he can't feel anything, just like most of corporate America and Wall Street, hence the need for all the coke, hookers, amphetamines, alcohol (sorry, they don't make ludes anymore in America, but that's not good fuel for these folks), and whatever other addictions can fill that gaping-hole in their souls.

When did it all start, and who cares? For over fifteen years, this not-a-man has yelled at me and America, blaring his inanities to sell crap nobody ever wanted or need for rich asshole investors to...get richer. No, I don't think that's a good thing, nope. Again, I'm obviously "just jealous," so please bear with me...

It's doubtful that the autopsy report's going to be impeached--ever--even if someone gets sued or bribed to do it, we now know he had metabolites of cocaine in his system, it's out. Science can be a tad tenacious like that, as seen on TV. Yet, his family and backers are scared shitless about the stiff's image, making statements that contradict--I don't know--a valid autopsy report by the accredited and licensed Hillsborough County medical examiner? You know, a mean guy, so he's probably just doing his job and was just telling us the truth, so money is surely at-stake somewhere in all of this.
"We were totally unaware of any non-prescription drug usage and are actively considering an independent evaluation of the autopsy results," Mays' family said in a statement.

The statement said the family was "extremely disappointed" by the release of the information by the medical examiner's office. The report "contains speculative conclusions that are frankly unnecessary and tend to obscure the conclusion that Billy suffered from chronic, untreated hypertension, which only demonstrates how important it is to regularly monitor one's health."...

Longtime friend and colleague AJ Khubani, founder and CEO of the "As Seen on TV" product company Telebrands, said Mays never exhibited any signs of drug use and was always prepared for his many commercial [sic] shoots.

"I'm just shocked," Khubani said. "He was the model of a responsible citizen." ("Autopsy: Cocaine contributed to Billy Mays' death, AP, 08.07.2009)

Mmmm-hm. Life's full of disappointments, or didn't you get the memo? I know I did. Hey, if I was all coked-up, I'd be "prepared"most of the time too, locked-and-loaded, baby. Mr. Khubani: define what a "model" and responsible citizen is for me some time. I'm assuming it means making you rich(er).

No, I would never think that someone yelling at the top of their lungs showing absurd and abnormal degrees of stamina for the majority of his adult life was taking stimulants, no. Considering that the examiner has listed cocaine as a "contributor" (no, not that kind, silly) to his death (make more sense now?), that he did cocaine just a few days before his departure from this dimension, and the fact that his head appeared poised for explosion since the public first heard of him from all that yelling, I'd say he was at least using the drug off-and-on much of his life. You could say he was probably driven to it, but that he was wrong-headed appears pretty obvious to these eyes and ear, and these ears are still ringing.

Whether he abused the drug is another story, but clearly the man had lifestyle problems. Mays' family made a public statement:

We are extremely disappointed by the press release released by the Hillsborough County medical examiner's office. We believe it contains speculative conclusions that are frankly unnecessary and tend to obscure the conclusion that Billy suffered from chronic, untreated hypertension, which only demonstrates how important it is to regularly monitor one's health.

Given the hectic nature and pace of Billy's life, especially during the past 10 months of his exhaustive travel across the country, it was not surprising to hear that hypertension was the cause of his death.

We were totally unaware of any non prescription drug usage and are actively considering an independent evaluation of the autopsy results. As those who were close to Billy knew, he had been in chronic pain for more than two years and was about to have his third hip surgery in 18 months.

His use of prescription pain medication for his hip condition was guided by his physician and was at recommended usage levels. This has been a very difficult period for our family and we appreciate the respect for our privacy that Billy's many clients, fans and members of the media have extended.

We appreciate your continued thoughts and prayers for the family and will not have any immediate comment beyond this statement.

If you think that I don't pity Mays and his family or mourn him, you're sadly mistaken, I do. The bastards that made a mountain of money (and concomitantly polluted our minds, bodies, and our world, and still are right now) took this poor little man--this barker--and used him up until there was no more to take. Now he is gone, and the madness continues on, but for how long? Until they've made our world uninhabitable.

So, it's not that I hated Billy Mays the man, it's that I hated the image he had to project out there at-the-behest of a bunch of evil businesspeople and investors. Bearing witness to his death is almost like watching the statues falling in the former Soviet Union: Crash, crash, crash. Watch the Shibboleths fall, one-by-one. Historians say that the late Richard M. Nixon was a barker for the gambling-tents during the Great Depression. Makes sense.


"Autopsy report: Cocaine use contributed to death of Billy Mays," 10 Connects.com, 08.07.2009: http://www.wtsp.com/news/mostpop/story.aspx?storyid=111143&provider=top

"Report of Diagnosis and Autopsy on William Darrell Mays, File 09.04082," Hillsborough County, Florida, Medical Examiner Department, conducted 06.29.2009:
http://download.gannett.edgesuite.net/wtsp/pdfs/2009/mays-autopsy.pdf

"Toxicology Report, Mays, William Darrell ... ," 07.27.2009: http://download.gannett.edgesuite.net/wtsp/pdfs/2009/mays-toxicology.pdf