The Bonnie Banks O Fordie (Babylon)

THERE were three ladies lived in a bower,
Eh vow bonnie
And they went out to pull a flower,
On the bonnie banks o Fordie
They hadna pu’ed a flower but ane,
When up started to them a banisht man.
He’s taen the first sister by her hand,
And he’s turned her round and made her stand.
“It’s whether will ye be a rank robber’s wife,
Or will ye die by my wee pen-knife?”
“It’s I’ll not be a rank robber’s wife,
But I’ll rather die by your wee pen-knife.”
He’s killed this may, and he’s laid her by,
For to bear the red rose company.
He’s taken the second ane by the hand,
And he’s turned her round and made her stand.
“It’s whether will ye be a rank robber’s wife,
Or will ye die by my wee pen-knife?”
“I’ll not be a rank robber’s wife,
But I’ll rather die by your wee pen-knife.”
He’s killed this may, and he’s laid her by,
For to bear the red rose company.
He’s taken the youngest ane by the hand,
And he’s turned her round and made her stand.
Says, “Will ye be a rank robber’s wife,
Or will ye die by my wee pen-knife?”
“I’ll not be a rank robber’s wife,
Nor will I die by your wee pen-knife.
“For I hae a brother in this wood,
And gin ye kill me, it’s he’ll kill thee.”
“What’s thy brother’s name? come tell to me.”
“My brother’s name it is Babylon.”
“O sister, sister, what have I done!
O have I done this ill to thee!
“O since I’ve done this evil deed,
Good sall never be seen o me.”
He’s taken out his wee pen-knife,
And he’s twyned  himsel o his ain sweet life.

W-W-II, a satire of the American mind

T'was back in W-W-II, when Columbus crossed the ocean blue.
"Seriously, who wants to go hunt for bigfoot with us in the Sierra Ancha Mts.? " said
the social networking status update.

Wouldn't you? If it was true.

For years and years nobody thought the Japanese and Germans were funny--
were I kidding--but it's true.
But read haikus,
you'll get the news.

I decided to write a murder ballad about bigfoot in the shower,
a daunting task sure to bring derision.
But that was my right,
my decision.

"That was nobody but some Mexicans," said the Colorado naturalist,
but no one would listen.
We murdered the neanderthals,
and they haunt us with precision.

Wouldn't you? You know it's true. It wouldn't do.
Someone might sue, but I paid my dues.
Because back in W-W-II,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

I believe it because I want to.