I really should post less since it gets more hits post number 1: Anderson Cooper to be joined soon in Cairo by comedienne Kathy Griffin

Testing, testing. Is this mic on? Yo, bitches, yo.

The time has come: erstwhile Cooper and his erstwhile career of erstwhile and ersatz reportage could really liven things up in Cairo and his own "undisclosed location" (either this was a sex joke by CNN or Andy's taken a shining to former VP Dick Cheney) by bringing in Kathy Griffin.

Griffin can pinch his ass, make jokes about what a bourgeois prig he really is, then do real reporting for him, hold his winkie for a little leakie, love.

Antijournalism has been born, that rough beast sloughing towards Bethlehem and Madison Avenue (though it's better to take the subway than cabs, gets you there faster, and be sure to avoid Broadway if you hate heavy traffic...).

Griffin loves to talk-talk-talk about Cooper and his mama--Gloria Vanderbilt--and really knows where to hit the Coop where he lives...the seat of his pants, naturally, and we know what's written on it, in blood.

My only request to Kathy: honey, we really don't want to see what's underneath those clothes, please! Cover! Happy New Year! And Cooper's looking eerily like Culkin-as-Alig these days. Just sayin'! Egypt?! Those cats love the military there! Democracy? They've probably killed it in the crib there already, like that assassination attempt on baby Moses, eh.

The next logical move: Rupert Murdoch pushes Cooper and Griffin into a pay-per-view live sex show at Times Square! Ok, bring in the Japanese pixilation, but who wouldn't want to see the look on his face? Or Kathy's? It would be worth another generation of traumatized children, admit it.

Aging Americans could relive their partying days: "Fuck him Kathy! Fuck him!!" while Cairo goes down in flames, sealing its own fate since the public there is also a Pentagon addict, but hey, they look photogenic, those crowd shots are going to determine fashion for the next ten years, face it.

Welcome to stand-up journalism.

God Bless Kathy Griffin

tv--Yeah, I was watching this--because I'm aware that CNN producers have a sense of humor and touch of genius in pairing her with the annoying Anderson Cooper™, who referred charitably to an accurate statement someone made that he's "the Carrot top of news journalism." That he is.

But some assholes were heckling Kathy, and she let them have it as any self-respecting seasoned comedienne would have: "Shut up! ...You know what? Screw you! I'm working! Why don't you get a job, buddy? You know what? I don't go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!" Amen.

You have to lover her irreverence, her brutal honesty, and her unwillingness to take any shit from anyone. Her comments on receiving awards and thanking Jesus are spot-on: "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now."

So mote it be. I would marry a woman like this tomorrow, just without the plastic surgery scars. Kathy would agree, and violently.

But what's so enjoyable about the Griffin/Cooper dyad is that she knows what scares him, likely half the reason she made a comment about oral sex. Yet, he's starting to go along with her, he "gets" it, and I think they're both starting to enjoy the interplay. Yes, he reported rumors in New Orleans as truth--he's no journalist, which is OK--but he at least has a sense of humor about himself. Good show for both of them, and here's to a coming decade of Jacobean irreverence.

America could use more women like her, the kind who stir shit up for all the right reasons. Prudes and Puritans everywhere are running for cover, and you gotta love that.

http://www.kathygriffin.net/

Will we see Katrina II?

The Gulf Coast--I doubt it, there's too much to lose, but never count the GOP out for screw-ups, incompetence, and indifference for the lives of other Americans. But nature is going to do her do, whether we like it or not. This is comforting.

And isn't it lovely? Isn't it wonderful that Gloria Vanderbilt's love child Anderson Cooper is down in New Orleans, readied to report rumor-as-fact again so he can get another promotion to support his materialistic lifestyle? Who said good things don't come out of disasters? They were lying, but we're used to that here.

And isn't it comforting to know that no substantial upgrades or changes have been made to the levee system in New Orleans? Can you feel it? Can you feel that American can-do spirit? I sure can, and I love it, I feel proud!!

And imagine all of the would-be documentarians out there with their HD video-cameras, poised to record more of the disintegration of America, and maybe not making a truckload of money like the producers and distributors who sell the cable rights and the DVDs, mind you, but having something kick-ass on their infotainment and McBlogger™ resumes?

No, it's a great time to be an American, especially if you have those really big-stilts and those boots to walk over the top of the wreckage. Harry Shearer, I share your angst.

Yes, there's a spirit in the air, alright...and it's time to call-in an exorcist, pronto, shit!

[Ed.--Some jackass commenter named "Anonymous" has suggested that I'm being "untruthful" in calling Cooper Gloria Vanderbilt's "love child," that he was actually born in-wedlock...as though I care about such trivialities. Right, he was born in-wedlock, but he's still a stupid, over-ambitious moronic bastard. Big deal.]

CNN: "KUM-BI-YAH" FACTOR

CNNOSPHERE--No, that image isn't Truman Capote, it's Anderson Cooper, and he's not a journalist, he is the moron-baby of Gloria Vanderbilt. Cooper is a joke, a male bimbo. Read this transcript excerpt to understand why. The event was the Nazi Pope's intrusion into-Turkey (a country with a 1% of 1% Christian-slice of a population of 70 million):

Cooper: For someone expecting sort of a -- a Pope John Paul II kind of visit, with -- with hundreds of thousands of people, this is not that kind of trip. It's almost more of a diplomatic trip.

Aslan: It's not really that -- this pope's M.O., really. Look, you know, yesterday, we were talking about the fact that, let's not -- let's not think that this pope's message is going to change, but perhaps what will change is the way he delivers that message. Today was a perfect example of that. I think that he's going to continue to push for a very robust dialogue with the Muslim world. He's going to continue to push for a resurgence and revival of -- of -- of Christianity throughout Europe. But I think, now that he recognizes how important it is for him to watch how he says things, you're going to see a much more conciliatory, much more measured response from him. [Ed.-Pope Benedict was the head of the Office of the Inquisition for over 20 years. It now has a friendlier-name.]

...Cooper: But, you know, I mean, dialogue, that's one of those diplomatic words. What does it actually mean? This pope has very strong beliefs about -- about Christianity, about Islam, about violence within Islam. What does a dialogue really look like?

Gallagher: It's a big point for the pope. In fact, he's talked about it before, that he thinks dialogue has to include straight talk, the hard questions.

Cooper: This is not everyone holding hands, singing kumbaya [my emphasis].

Gallagher: That's right. ...

Exactly what does any of this have to do with journalism? I don't care what they "think" or were handed by their boss, that isn't journalism. "Just the facts" is journalism, not this blurring of commentary and coverage pioneered by...CNN, not Fox News.

This is analysis, fine, but why go there at all? It's misleading, and suggests these talking-necks are actually doing investigative journalism. All a journalist is supposed to be doing is reporting the facts, not editorializing. But, far-worse than this, CNN took-up Cooper's "kumbiyah" aside--they're running-with-it as a catchphrase now!

Today, they were talking-about whether Iraqi Prime Minister Al-Maliki was "singing Kumbiyah (the proper spelling)" with the Bush administration, or the "Kumbiyah factor." Right, is Al-Maliki singing the same song? Instead, we get these stupid catchphrases. CNN can shove it. And thanks-again, Anderson, for reporting rumors and hearsay amidst the misery of the people who were stuck at the Superdome in New Orleans. It helped the Bush administration demonize the victims of our neglect. Fuck you CNN, and fuck you Anderson Cooper.

While I'm at it: fuck you Ted Turner, you dumb asshole. You are Charles Foster Kane, you moron. Give one billion to the UN, goddammit, that's what you promised. Idiot.

The Original Irritant:http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0611/28/acd.01.html

HE'S ALIVE, ASSHOLES.

Yep, Fidel Castro is still alive!

Here's a photo from Cuba's Granma service, part of a series. While the moron pundits scream that they're "doctored", we get doctored photos from Iraq and Lebanon without any comment. More of that Goebbels touch (of death). There is no press but the blogs! Journalism students, drop out, your degree is worthless...just ask Anderson Cooper.

All the stories put out there by the State Department were wishful thinking since they cannot kill him or the Cuban revolution. I know, it's sad that the Mafia and criminal corporations were run out, what a horrible shame, I know.

Anti-Castro Cubans: you are whores, lapdogs and rubes for people who view you as "spics." We on the Left pity you, you aren't even Cuban; you left the place 50 years ago. Wake up, it's over, and if Raul died after Fidel their children and other Cubans would take their places.

Chavez: how can you dislike a world leader who calls George W. Bush "an asshole"? You'd have to be one, naturally.