That was a truly crazy summer: my brother's friend Joe had moved to Los Angeles to do--what else?--conquer the world of music with his electric guitar. He almost did, and even played on some of Eazy-E's earliest demos. There were other gigs. After only being in L.A. for a year, Joe had gained something new...a roaring methamphetamine habit. Going from a girth of 200 lbs., he had dropped to a startling 140.
He would literally play guitar for days-on-end, and in a very short time he was a virtuoso. Joe could play Hendrix as though Jimi was actually in the room (down to the chime-like tone), and he and my brother had been the only two long-hairs at our High School during the 80s. For those who don't know, it wasn't exactly a good move, people not only wanted to forget the sixties at that time, but heaped scorn on anyone with hair past their shoulders as being a "faggot."My brother's nickname was 'Ozzy,' for obvious reasons.
But it didn't take looking odd to gain that special attention. One day I was walking to another class at Alexander Hamilton High and was stopped cold by one of the kids who was beaten (but not enough) regularly by his parents. It was 1983:
"Hey, Janowitz! Do you like rap?!" Of course, it was my duty as a Caucasian to say "no," so I said "yes." My response was rewarded with a punch and a feeble attempt at a trip-up. That was normal, and the same people would then be seen yucking-it-up to Sugar Hill Gang at the local skating rink, not having any understanding of the irony--or even of irony itself.
Where was I? Oh yeah, it was 1988, and my brother was chasing a "friend" to L.A. . Solid. The trip wasn't exactly what my brother had-in-mind. Joe had degenerated into a slobbering drug-addict, but there was some fun to be had running around the city. Most of it involved selling clothes for drugs, but we won't dwell on that. When my brother came back (did he ever, really?), we almost had to call in a cult deprogrammer and were unsure this was the same guy. Well, he must have been fairly sober while he was there: they went to the Whisky Au-Go-Go to see Guns-N'-Roses. It's not what you think, not at all.
They'd been out that hot summer night on Sunset strip, bar-hopping and being chased by the L.A.P.D. for having long-hair when they hit the Whisky. A really awful sound of poorly-played rock-n'-roll was wafting out of the place, they were drunk, so a collision with somebody was inevitable. After many drinks, my brother had finally had it with the band. So had Joe, and he egged my brother on to "do it." What was "it"? He grabbed his empty bottle of Heineken and threw it blindly at the guitarist in the Ritchie Blackmore warlock hat, yelling, "You fucking suck, stop playing you fucking assholes!"
"Bggg-gank!!" was the sound of the bottle crashing against the fretboard of Slash's weathered Les Paul Custom. That was it, it was time to run, and they did. Little did my brother know at the time that Axl Rose was from West Lafayette, Indiana. For those who don't know, it's a very dirty and depressing place. Maybe it was mean to do what they did, but sometimes things go that way. Besides, they were right. Guns-N'-Roses sucked, they always sucked, and will always suck. It's non-negotiable.
This one dropped in mid-August of 2000, and got a little coverage, but not much. Even Ice-T and Kool Keith seemed to think it was one of their minor works! They were wrong, this is some of the best hip-hop ever.
I've heard just about everything in rap (pity me), and this is really as classic and cutting-edge as all the greats of rap like Grandmaster Flash, or Afrika Bambaataa. What makes it so great is that it consciously looted the past, the present, and the future.
"Pimp to Eat" could be released now, and it would still be fresh. Sure, there are tracks with titles that date it a little ("2005"), but overall, these are some of the finest moments that Ice-T and Kool Keith have ever had.
The best part: it's loaded with that Parliament/Bernie Worrell analog-synth sound that literally drags me back into the 1970s again...that's a good place to be these days!
From the hilarious cover, to the insane and comedic rhymes and great beats, it just kicks. You cannot lose with a lineup that includes Jacky Jasper, Kool Keith, Ice T, Marc Live, Black Silver, DJ Cisco, Rhyme Syndicate, & Pimp Rex; all of them are associates of either Kool Keith or Ice-T, and all are incredible at writing whacked-out music and off-kilter rapping (and most all of them can freestyle too). Anyway, there was coverage in URB, some interviews, and a tour. That was it. Nu Gruv didn't have the budget of the major labels, and rap fans love hype if they love anything at all. Maybe that's inevitable: anything that's genuine or real has to be underground nowadays. Maybe that's always been the case, and that it's OK. But wouldn't it be cool if Keith and Ice could be Black Elvis again? I mean no disrespect to either of them, I'm just wishing for some breakthroughs like Elvis. He came out of nowhere!It wasn't the big labels that made him, it was the fans. It wasn't the hype--that came later--it was the skill and the freshness. Ice-T had his period of major fame and he still does on tv. Kool Keith had his time in the Ultramagnetic MCs, Dr. Octagon, Dr. Dooom, and all his other side-projects, but this album shoulda, woulda, coulda been huge. Pimp to Eat is unashamedly Black, and couldn't be anything else! I could see a new Black Nationalist Movement grooving to this shit, like they did to James Brown's "Say it Loud (I'm Black and I'm Proud)." Without quoting it, it's a celebration of Black culture, even the dregs, the pimps, the hustlers, the shills, the junkies, crackheads, stickup men, with a healthy-dose of humor.
Ice-T even lampoons himself on "Who Wanna Be Down?" It must be heard to be believed, and probably one of the rarest things in rap: merciless self-deprecation.The cuts that really hooked me were "2005," and "Analog Annihilator VRS. Silver Surfer," some of the heaviest L.A.-based rapping I've ever heard. It just has the right mix of pachuco and pimpness, very hard and cutting. But hey, that's really the whole concept of this album: it's pimp rap! That's what you get. "So Bad" has roots in so many R&B and blues songs--and high camp--about a mother's worries about her bad son, so familiar that it doesn't need comment. It's in the American genetic makeup now, something in the water.
Listening to this album, you may not exactly be down, but you can enjoy the few delights of pimpdom, that rarified universe of Iceberg Slim and his cousins the Analog Brothers. Find it, burn it, earn it, learn it (and yearn it). Best rap album ever? I'd be hard-pressed to find one that's better, though I would nominate Sensational's "Corner the Market" (1999) and Dan the Automator's and Kool Keith's "Dr. Octagonecologyst" 12" series and LP (1996) as major contenders.
What makes this so fun is they get that rapping has to have the same elements of "playing the dozens," of alter-ego grandstanding and the putdown. It's all in good fun, though, and the pimps elevate hip-hop to an art. "Pimp to Eat" takes a very free genre and shoots it into the stratosphere, which shouldn't be surprising considering the talent here.
