Friday, December 09, 2011

Gimp of the Perverse II: Will the real Jack Burkman please stand up?

Ed.--I got an interesting comment from someone purporting to be a former girlfriend of Mr. Burkman. This one's juicier than the rest, but it corresponds to other communications I've received about him from others sources who I am certain did date him at one point. This comment--from October as OWS was gestating--went unmoderated for some time, I wasn't paying attention with the editing/revising work on the DC Madam account.

All the breaks are original, no edits, as with the others:


October 2011 comment: http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=32294008&postID=6232334077798997076
I dated Jack for a considerable amount of time, and can say without a doubt, the man has SEVERE issues when it comes to women.

With respect to his dearly departed Mommie Dearest, Jack sure loves to have a daily chat with her in his mirror. At first, I thought it was a joke before recognizing that he considers it a "real" discussion. Thankfully, Mother gave her blessing for our relationship *shudder*

He believes that ALL women are whores and out to "get his money", yet he likes to buy his way into your life. And thus, Jack attends church in Tyson's Corner almost every weekend, in a laughable attempt to cleanse himself of his sins.

What would those be?!

Oh gosh golly gee, Jack likes to think of himself as a VERY dirty birdy.

Forget the DC Madam scandal---I'm astonished that no one has posted about his frequent trips to the Spearmint Rhino or the Red Rooster in Las Vegas!

Essentially, Jack must feel in complete control of his romantic relationships:

1) He needs a woman who will stimulate him intellectually. Bonus points if she can banter about about the declining moral fiber of America, and constantly praise his efforts to educate people about strong family values.

2) He insists "his" woman act as arm candy at the many DC hotel bars he frequents BUT you're forbidden from directly speaking to any other men... including bartenders, bellmen OR cab drivers.

3) He will withhold sex because he loves you (Madonna), yet he'll ask if it would be okay if he can satisfy his needs elsewhere (Whore). And you're possessed by the Devil himself if you even think about masturbating! haha

He has many great attributes, which is why I accepted most of the flaws. It was only after he threatened me physically that I called it quits, and severed all contact.

Oddly enough, Jack's brother is normal. Last I heard, he was a physician in Seattle.

A note to the lady in question: I would like to discuss more of this with you. Feel free to contact me at the email address on my profile. I will honor your wishes for confidentiality.